Poor Pantyhose Pussy

Hot on the tail of dogs in pantyhose comes cats in pantyhose.  Found recently.

Now I don't think that this cat is actually wearing pantyhose.  They have been more pulled on its bottom half like some nylon sleeping bag.  There is no way that cat would walk in pantyhose or even have them pulled over its legs.  Cats are not as stupid as dogs.

But just in case remember

You wear the pantyhose not the cat.

The same goes for thicker tights as well as for sheer pantyhose - you wear them not the cat

And don't even think of puss in Boots or puss in Heels

Can you imagine a big cat in pantyhose?  Don't put your little pussy in hose either.

Of course there are some kinds of pussy that can go in pantyhose.

And some of my male readers prefer them that way.

Results for shorts survey

Well it appears that guys like shorts with tights.  In my survey:

• 60% of guys thought tights and shorts were the best look ever
• 35% of guys thought tights are shorts were good, but not as good as tights with a skirt or dress.

Interestingly no-one preferred shorts with bare legs.  Although 5% thought tights and shorts was a shit look.

But before you rush to get into shorts and tights to attract the guy of your dreams.  I doubt that visitors to my blog are not an unbiased sample.  Guys coming to this page will have a "thing" for tights, and may even have come searching for "tights and shorts"

In any case shorts may prove a health hazard.  Health sites warn that "thrush" can be caused by

• Tights
• Tight trousers
• Lycra

Wearing shorts and tights you have the perfect combination to ferment whose little fungi.

Are yeast infections covered to Hooters Health Insurance? (What health insurance?)

If you think the gods might have fated you for a yeast infection, there are some things you can do

• Wear cotton knickers
• Wear tights with a cotton gusset
• Avoid Lycra shorts
• Wear shorts that are a little looser.

But if you can't wear shorts, remember lots of guys prefer skirts or dresses.

Do men like laddered tights?

When I was browsing my favourite far-right wing newspaper on-line, (only the femail, celeb and gossip sections - you can have too much about the death of the Blessed Margaret), I came across this piccy:

Getting to work on her newest film, Emma Stone arrived on the Manhattan set of “Birdman” on Wednesday (April 10).  The 24-year-old actress donned jean shorts with ripped up tights and combat boots as she filmed scenes for the brand new flick.

To give you the full gen about her outfit

"The actress' grey T-shirt was riddled with rips and tears surrounding her flat tummy.  The Crazy, Stupid, Love star also wore denim cut-off shorts with the white pocket tongues peeking beneath the frayed hemline - bringing attention to her pixie thin legs (in sheer black holed and laddered tights - but I already said that). The petite actress - who is currently dating Andrew Garfield of Spider-Man fame - donned vintage brown leather boots with various clunky buckles.  Completing her costume was an army green jacket, featuring shoulder lapels and brown buttons."

But to get back to the most interesting part of her outfit - for readers of this blog if not for normal people - her tights.  Raising the question do men like holed and laddered tights?  There have been hints of this from reader's comments.

" Mrs Dreyer works in an office with lots of men who she says are always perving at her legs and feet when she kicks her shoes off (most likely why her tights always end up with runs in them)"  John thinking the men in his wife's office might like his wife's nylon feet best when they are laddered

"I like seeing ladies with holes and ladders in their tights. Perhaps my mind makes an association with them being well-worn and maybe a bit...well, dirty :)" Cal

Does the ladder make these tights (stockings actually I think) more sexy?

Now this liking laddered tights is a new one on me.  The nylon fetish guys in my life have always liked a nice new pair of tights.  Of course they ripped open the crotch at the supposed climax of a night of fun.  This was often the waste of a good pair of tights.  These guys were supposed to have a serious tights fetish, so why couldn't they perform?  Ahhh I know, they only get turned on by the tights, not what is in the tights.

The place many guys want a hole in your tights, but another girl could probably give you more fun through the tights

But all that's an aside, let's get back to why guys might like laddered tights.

(1) Because laddered tights smell
Well I guess tights are more likely to get laddered if you have had them on all day.  And they are more likely to be smelly if you have had them on all day.  And perhaps our sweat does attract men

"Researchers have recently discovered that pheromones play a major role in the lives of humans. The primary female pheromone women unknowingly secrete that attracts men is androstenol. Due to evolution, women only secrete this pheromone when they sweat."

So it looks like our sweaty tights might on turn even normal men on after all.

Her feet got so hot that she had to take her shoes off, will he get enough of those lovely pheromones?

Directly administering pheromones to your male

The only problem with this explanation is that tights usually ladder when you put them on or soon after.  So guys, a lady with laddered tights may have just put them on, and not have had a spare pair

Laddered as soon as she put them on?

(2) Because laddered tights are easier to rip off

Well yes I suppose so.

(3) Because guys thinks girls in laddered tights are sluts

That's right if you have ladders in your tights some guys will think you are a bad girl and are more likely to give them a shag.

Bad girls

Real bad girl, smoking, showing the tops of her tights and with a ladder

But beware guys, those bad girls in laddered tights might just bite you balls off and eat them

So guys do you think laddered tights are sexy?  Try my latest poll.

Guys don't forget give your partner in nylon joy

Love getting feedback from you guys.  Recently Anonymous posted this as tumblr feedback

"which might lead to fun for him and hopefully you.<<< that picture is exactly how it all started !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The picture my correspondent is referring to is a lady rubbing her nyloned foot against a guy's trousers which clearly contain a hard cock.

Well Anonymous, may I call your Anonymous, or do you prefer Anon?  Anyway Anonymous I'm glad to see that the use of a girl's nylon covered foot can still turn a man into a raving tights fetishist.  But have you re-payed girls in tights for this honour?  Here are two suggestions.

Worshipping her feet is a good start.  It can be quite relaxing and sets the right tone for the relationship.

Let your tongue get busy with her pussy.  First through her tights, then rip her tights open and get tasting.  As this post of going out before the 9pm watershed, I post a moderate image.

When he gets the technique right, she'll take the shorts off

If I haven't responded to your comments yet, I will get round to it, so keep the feedback coming.  (And keep cumming back).

Not me, but I quite often read your posts like this.  (To be honest I also read them wearing my XXXL jeans and with bare feet - sorry if they spoils the fantasy)

A whole new meaning to dogging in pantyhose

Joy of Tights has posted some sick stuff.  Today is the sickest ever.  You would be advised to look away now.

Recently, dog owners in China having been posting pictures of their pups wearing tights on the popular social media site Weibo and joking how sexy their canines look in the getups.

What can I say except that humans look much better in pantyhose with bows on?

Ahhh you say its just a bit of fun.

• BUT no one asked the dogs.
• BUT its probably uncomfortable for the dogs
• BUT dogs aren't human and shouldn't be dressed up
• BUT dogs aren't play things; they are conscious beings in their own right. 

Some pet owners have gone even further with this - adding heels

I say heels are for humans.

And even we take them off if they hurt too much

Well at least no one tried to put their dog in a pair of these

And human depravity being what it is - (don't get me wrong I'm usually all in favour of depravity, but this could go too far) - some perv could start fancying dogs in hose.  That is not nice for the dog.

Dog in tan tights BAD

Girls in tan tights GOOD

Repeat after me
Dogs in tan tights BAD
Girls in tan tights GOOD

and again

Dogs in tan tights BAD
Girls in tan tights GOOD

One more image to help with the message.

I couldn't put it better than this quote I found on line:

"Just try to imagine the complex confluence of emotions raging through the poor pups' coconut sized brains as their owner squeezes their hindquarters into strangling nylon and looms over them with a camera. They must be suffering from a churning mixture of absolute love and adoration (because dogs are stupid and love you no matter what) and shame and horror and perhaps vague, inchoate dreams of murderous revolution."

I'm not really sure animals should even be kept as pets, but I guess dogs have been bred to be with humans

So for the hard of thinking here is the message with pictures to help

You wear the tights not the dog.

That's it, you in the tights not the dog

Not sure about the little scarf, is it really to match the shoes?  But at least the scarf is to keep the dog warm, not as an Internet photo op

The great irony is that Chinese girls look great in tights.  So girls, if you fancy putting your dog in tights and putting it's photo on the Internet, why not put on some tights and post your own photo?  You will generate a lot more happiness.  And guys, (I suspect it isn't guys doing this but just in case), please ask your girlfriend to wear tights rather than your dog.

Hope these Chinese don't find their way onto a canine

Locking up is too good for people who make their pets wear tights

And finally
You might think all this fuss about doggy hose is OTT.  But this is just the tip of the iceberg of how we treat non-human animals.  We eat them, we experiment on them.  How would you like to be victim of an alien vivisectionist?

"Debee came the to warehouse expecting to do an adult photo-shoot.  She didn't realize that the photographs who be preceded by dissection"

Give your colleagues a break work by wearing tights / and get your own back on your employer

Let's face it girls, in Britain today, and indeed probably everywhere else in the world, work SUCKS

You all know the score:

• Falling or frozen pay while prices rise.
• No job security - all short term contracts
• ... so no chance of career progression.
• Boring stuff to do
• Not even able to have a laugh on the job anymore.

It all makes you want to subvert the system.  But what can you do?  Super-glue the executive toilet door shut?  Wind-up IT services by bringing in your own browser and apps on a memory stick?  Spend as much of your working day on the Internet as possible

When tweeting at work it is better not to do anything else that will draw attention to yourself.  (And don't tweet in your own name or say anything to identify yourself)  

Put I got the clue to a great way to subvert work from some of the responses to this blog.

"Anyway, in response to your recent posts on Joy of Tights, a girl in tights at the office makes my workday much less productive, so I can't understand why wearing tights is preferred at the office over bare legs!"  (Anonymous comment on Tumblr)

 "Today was difficult, there was a new hot girl in the office wearing black tights, damn"(Anonymous comment on Tumblr)

"My day job is in an office, and yes, I have to admit I find women's tights a (welcome) distraction." (Cal comment on this Blog)

 So the new way of subverting work?  You guessed it; wearing tights to work.  You can distract the guys and not be blamed for it.  After all you are just looking smart, tights may even be part of your uniform

If your uniform includes a dress, wear tights rather than going bare legged.  If your uniform includes tights, up the distracting power by making your skirt that little bit shorter or by wearing higher heels or sandals to show off your feet.

You may say "what's in it for me?"  After all the guys in your office are getting the pleasure of seeing your legs in tights, what are you getting out of it.  Here is it list:

• The satisfaction of knowing your firm's work is being disrupted.
• Admiring glances from the guys in your office.  Since these guys work with you every day, they are not going to perv you up, because they have to see you tomorrow.
• Having great looking legs and being being able to explore lots of legwear fashion.
• Having another tool to help you to flirt at work.  And who knows flirting at work could lead to:

  

  A guy you like who you can spend lunch breaks with

A guy you that you fancy that can spend the evening with.....

... which might lead to fun for him and hopefully you.

Or if you are really lucky, you'll find a guy who worships you

True not all guys have a tights fetish, but lots of guys like legs.  In tights:

• Your legs will look better
• And you'll have more confidence to show them off.

So how to make your tights a more effective distraction at work.

Don't hide them under trousers

Unless you can spend a lot of time in your stocking feet

Take your shoes off
Lots of men have a foot fetish.  Here is another comment left on this blog

"I don't get the pleasure of working in offices where ladies are wearing tights (i work outdoors) but Mrs Dreyer works in an office with lots of men who she says are always perving at her legs and feet when she kicks her shoes off (most likely why her tights always end up with runs in them)" on A day in the (working) life of a tights loving perv (From John)

Even if all the guys in your office aren't into tights, a lot of them will be into feet.  You could slip your shoes all while having a break

Showing your feet off at other times may be more difficult

The boss will feel she is being too distracting

But you can always slip your shoes off under the desk or behind the counter when you are doing something else

 

And perhaps you can find to excuse to take your shoes off to fix something

"I couldn't get to the printer with my heels on"

Wear sandals
If you can't get your shoes off often, wear sandals or tease with some peep toes.

Get the whole office into tights

If you are all in tights, guys will be distracted where-ever they look

Of course the problem may be getting the rest of the girls in the office into tights.  But as more girls start wearing tights at work, the idea could catch on.

Wearing a short skirt
To help show off your tighted legs.

There are some other ways you could be in a distraction in tights

Some you can get away with...

...some you can't

Warning
Subverting your office by wearing tights won't work if there aren't lots of men in the office.

Guys you won't have the same effect if you put on a pair of tights.

See guys I have been working late into the night, just in case you haven't seen any tights at work.