Tuesday, 5 January 2016

Antia Harris: Angels of Tights?

According to teh Daily Mail secret of looking good is her Guardian Angels.  Not sure about this.
Not sure I'd trust this lot with my looks.
Could her leg looks be improved by the fact she is wearing tights
Look at the toes for tights seams.
Nothing to be ashamed of, many of us ladies of a certain age rely on tights
And Ms Harris did pioneer tights as Nurse Clark in "Carry On Doctor"
And in later pictures
And if Flickr can be believed in sellin Paxo Stuffing with free tights
Cue, crude tights and suffering images
Of course many of us need more than Angels and/or tights

Monday, 4 January 2016

Time to get your decorations off

Still got your Christmas decorations up?
I know you love your tree
And your Santa.  I know many of my readers will be jealous of Santa.  They too want to be held by a girl who hoses up in black pantyhose
I hate to tell you this,but The Twelfth Night of Christmas is the time decorations should come down according to tradition, which officially falls on Tuesday, January 5.  And that's tomorrow folks.

Only one more day cuddling around the tree
I think you are supposed to undress the tree not yourself
If you don't take the decorations down, you get bad luck.

What what could this bad luck be?
Sore feet from your heels, you can take them off
Ladders in your tights, got another pair
Your best friend is snoggingg your boyfriend.  What you didn't like either of them anyway.  But you know what happens afrer the snog.  His trousers come down, then his pants, then her shorts, then her tights and knickers in one go, then Ohhhhh my God, then swim little sperm swim, then happy families.
You get cancer from smoking
And liver disease from your drinking
The docs looked and there is nothing to be done
.... but she can offer you a lethal injection with a cut price cremation thrown in
The doctor relaxes after dispatching you to a much better (well very much hotter at least) place
And you have to be made to look your best - its good to be hosed up right at the end -
- ready for your hot date with Mr Incinerator
All this bad luck 'cos you never took your decorations down!
Don't just sit there girls get those decorations down

Sunday, 3 January 2016

Do Teachers in Tights turn boys in Pantyhose Perverts

Vote in our poll to to tell us what you think.

Are young boys turned on to pantyhose from what they see in kindergarten?
First school?
Or does their nylon education have to wait until later?

Saturday, 2 January 2016

Get Fit in Pantyhose 2 - cycling

Cycling gets you fit and is good for the environment
And you can do it at any age
But why cycle in tights
To keep warm
To protect your modesty
To show off your legs
To be cheeky and sexy

Friday, 1 January 2016

Happy Hosed 2016

Here's hoping you danced the new year in, in your pntyhosed feet
And got a snog after midnight

Thursday, 31 December 2015

The single girl's guide to new year sex

"The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears." W H Auden
Whilst Joy of Tights has the greatest respect for the professionalism of sex workers, doing those things, (and those men), that none of the rest of us want, I don't think this is an option for the single girl.
Spending New Year Eve with your BFFs is attractive.  Dressing up, and hosing up, just for each other.
But it would be a pity not to have any New Year's Eve Sex, and there could be enough men to go around.  The ancient Roman festival of Saturnalia which gave rise to Christmas and New Year featured
"Debauchery A time of wine, women, song, and letting loose your sexual impulses."
See a New Year Shag is traditional!  And don't forget that In Roman times, Bacchus, the god of wine, became the lord of these festivals.
Drink plenty in honour of Bacchus
Back to sex
Happiness is three boys and three girls
But what if you are having the compete for cock?
Since this is Joy of Tights, I would recommend making the most of your pantyhosed legs and feet.
Starting Pantyhosed Stimulation
And you could drop your standards - alcohol will help here
Maybe not lower your standards this much
Alternatively you can follow the spirit of Bacchus, share the guys with other girls and have an orgy.
Remember that an orgy is not just great sex, it is a spiritual experience.
"The word "orgy" comes from the Greek word "orgia" meaning "secret worship". Since most secret worship involved sexual rituals, and Christians were opposed to anything sexual the word orgy came to have the .... meaning it has today, .....
Many words that are used to describe extreme religious fervour are also used to describe great sex, such as passion, bliss, and ecstasy. There were many orgies throughout the year as celebrations in the religion of the Goddess."
Share and share alike - its your spiritual duty
Three may not be a crowd
And if the guy is no good, hey you can always play with the other girls (If this doesn't get the guy going again nothing will )
Make sure you all get a share
It may be better not to have some men all to yourself
The police will be needed to ensure they all get a share of him.  Oh they are the police
A few months later.  The Life force was really flowing through him. 
Bacchus would have been proud of his efforts
 But what if there aren't enough girls for all the guys?  Shame.
Two happy boys, later they'll be dipping their wicks with their balls deep to make babies.  Their girls will soon be knocked up. Two unhappy boys will just have to wank off listening to the other two
Perhaps you can help those leftover guys out by letting them both (all) pleasure you.
But what would Jesus say?  See top of picture
If multiple men were good enough for the Goddess Draupadi they are good enough fro you

Think of the advantages of taking multiple men:
  • The power.  They will be so, so,  so ....so grateful
  • When one has shot his load the other could still keep going
  • Being pleasured in so many ways at once
  • They will compete in pleasing you
Not the way to do it - she's not making the most of the available resources
Sharing the load
A few months later - the effect of all that New Year Sperm.  Which guys sperm was fittest to get the job done?  New Year is a time of new Life.
But perhaps you have had enough of guys and the unwanted gifts they leave behind growing inside you, draining your body and resources all so that they can pass on their genes. At Saturnalia:
"In Roman times, Bacchus, the god of wine, became the lord of these festivals. During the Bacchanalian festivals the everyday rules were turned topsy-turvy. The masters waited on the servants. All sexual prohibitions were lifted. "
What a good time to love your inner (or outer) Lesbian
 Continuing our Roman New Year theme
"During the Roman Imperial era, sources for same-sex relations among women are ... abundant, in the form of love spells, medical writing, texts on astrology and the interpretation of dreams, and other sources.  A graffito from Pompeii expresses the desire of one woman for another:  ' I wish I could hold to my neck and embrace the little arms, and bear kisses on the tender lips. Go on, doll, and trust your joys to the winds; believe me, light is the nature of men.'"
Think of all the fun you could have
Tit touching
Leg Loving.  Her Hose Your Hand
Sensuous Snogging
Terrific Touching.  Just wait 'till the tights come off
Happy New Year
Roman Lesbianism