Sunday, 31 March 2013

The real meaning of Easter - Easter Bunnies

I'm not being quite as facetious as you might think.  Easter was a celebration of fertility - who is more fertile than bunnies?
I know the kind of Bunnies my viewers want to see
In case you doubt that Easter was a Pagan fertility celebration, here is what one site says:
"The name "Easter" originated with the names of an ancient Goddess and God. The Venerable Bede, (672-735 CE - note not AD.) a Christian scholar, first asserted in his book De Ratione Temporum that Easter was named after Eostre (a.k.a. Eastre). She was the Great Mother Goddess of the Saxon people in Northern Europe."  Pagen Origins of Easter
Bunny in the woods
 The same site goes on:
"Similarly, the "Teutonic dawn goddess of fertility [was] known variously as Ostare, Ostara, Ostern, Eostra, Eostre, Eostur, Eastra, Eastur, Austron and Ausos."  Her name was derived from the ancient word for spring: "eastre." Similar Goddesses were known by other names in ancient cultures around the Mediterranean, and were celebrated in the springtime. Some were:
  • Aphrodite, named Cytherea (Lady of Cythera) and Cypris (Lady of Cyprus) after the two places which claimed her birth; 
  • Ashtoreth from ancient Israel (probably more popular that the God of Old Testament (Yahweh) in ancient Palestine - you need someone to make your crops grow!)
  • Astarte from ancient Greece;
  • from Mycenae;
  • Hathor from ancient Egypt;
  • Ishtar from Assyria;
  • Kali, from India (not a goddess to mess with); and
  • Ostara a Norse Goddess of fertility.
Whilst a bunny's natural habitat is the woods....
... many bunnies are kept inside
 Of course such emphasis on fertility has always been a problem for Christians:
"Fertility cults and rituals have always presented a problem for the Christian church. According to Hyde and DeLamater (2006), when Christianity first began to assert its stronghold on mankind, "Hebrew leaders saw in the fertility cult, a threat to their religion" and as a result, many sexual practices were forbidden because they challenged biblical principles of order. Circumventing the Christian God in order to invoke a process that was deemed to be under this God's complete control was considered an intolerable sin. Here, man's connection to nature gave him no ownership or influence over its processes. "  (Fertility cuts and the making of sexual magic)
Are tights and stocking an aid to sexual magic?
 But Christianity itself may be a fertility cult:
"By studying the development of language in relation to the development of myths, religions, and cultic practices in world cultures, [Dead Sea Scrolls scholar John] Allegro believed he could prove, through etymology, that the roots of Christianity, as of many other religions, lay in fertility cults."
 Most scholars are not convinced of John Allegro's ideas - not surprising given most scholars of the subject are Christian, but even they admit:
"There are some avoided topics in early Christian history like the Apocryphal gospels of Mary, Christ's acceptance by the community without being married, his relationship with Mary and Martha where you could tease out some fertility ritualism There are some avoided topics in early Christian history like the Apocryphal gospels of Mary, Christ's acceptance by the community without being married, his relationship with Mary and Martha where you could tease out some fertility ritualism  ....."
Word to the brothers in Christ - don't feel bad about looking at this image - remember your religion may originally been a fertility cult
Good Christian girls don't have to be angels
 You might not be convinced that Easter is about fertility.  However, I'm sure you don't need convincing that bunnies are a good symbol of fertility, but just in case you are wikipedia says:
"Rabbits and hares are both prolific breeders. Female hares can conceive a second litter of offspring while still pregnant with the first. This phenomenon is known as superfetation. Lagomorphs mature sexually at an early age and can give birth to several litters a year (hence the saying, "to breed like bunnies"). It is therefore not surprising that rabbits and hares should become fertility symbols, or that their springtime mating antics should enter into Easter folklore."
Although this bunny won't be doing much breeding ... but the "bunny" on his back might be
Lesbian bunnies? Probably not.  Probably they are just doing it to turn on the male of the species
And for good measure a word about the origin of the other kind of bunnies featured in this post - or at least the origins of their costume.
"The costume itself was conceived by Playboy's director of promotions, Victor Lownes, designed by Zelda Wynn Valdes, and subsequently refined by Hugh Hefner. Originally the ears were taller and the ensemble lacked the trademark bow tie, collar, and cuffs. First unveiled publicly in an early episode of Playboy's Penthouse, it made its formal debut at the opening of the first Playboy Club in Chicago on the evening of February 29, 1960."

Since then variations of the bunny have got international
 And have been used to sell stuff
And of course girls who want to look sexy at parties dress as bunnies.  A good way of teasing guys and having a laugh with your mates.
So what should you do this Easter day?
Try some sympathetic fertility magic obviously
Now you are probably reading this because you are a sado without a partner.  Well go and have a wank.  It is duty to keep your sperm healthy just in case you get the chance of a fuck.  If you are don't believe me, here is what a wise geek says:
"Experts recommend restricting ejaculation to once every two or three days to optimize the health of sperm. Men who are sexually abstinent may be well advised to masturbate as a replacement for intercourse. Experts recommend restricting ejaculation to once every two or three days to optimize the health of sperm. Men who are sexually abstinent may be well advised to masturbate as a replacement for intercourse. "
I see you are ready, already
Why not look at some of the bunnies on this page to help you wank yourself off?  (Girls that you'll never have in reality).  OK a few more just for you.
Showing her tights tops
Seams these girls are sexy
Cum already, bad boy, you'll be hell bound soon - don't die today if you can help it
This DEVILISH.....
.... BRITISH....

...... is brought to you to glorify SATAN
Ave Satanas
Ad Majorem Sathanas Gloriam

Friday, 29 March 2013

Blasphemous Rumours

In Satan's great master-plan to corrupt humankind via the Internet, Joy of Tights is an insignificant and low key part.  My role is discuss whether tights should be worn with sandals....
........ and so encourage guys to take an abnormal interest in feet and shoes and indeed tights.  Or I might discuss how guys acquire their fetish for tights.
And in doing help men to think that their tights fetish, and by extension other more extreme perversions, are normal and so to be indulged.  It might even show nyloned feet, in the pretext of discussing different types of tights toes......
These are sheer toes by the way
 .....but really seeking to lead men to foot worship.
Form where they can start looking for nylon footjob videos and be lead to the glorious nest of corruption that is (for instance) xHamster.

But today I feel like blogging a deliciously depraved post.  What has brought on this desire?
Good Friday.  The day Christians celebrate the crucifixion of Jesus.

Satan himself requires me to desecrate this day with images mocking and perverting the faith.

But is not the Christian faith -in itself - beyond parody and perversion?

Jesus appeared to be convinced that God wants him to die for others
"For even I (literally the Son of Man) did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" Mark 10:45
Now I have no objection to people seeking pain for pleasure or payment.
However, Jesus was not just to be shitting bricks but sweating blood over his fate.

"Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. On reaching the place, he said to them, “Pray that you will not fall into temptation.”  He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed,  “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”  An angel from heaven  appeared to him and strengthened him.  And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like  drops of blood falling to the ground." Luke 22:39-44
And after all this Jesus thinks God has deserted him.
"At noon, darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon. And at three in the afternoon Jesus  cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).  When some of those standing near heard this, they said, “Listen, he’s calling Elijah.”  Someone ran, filled a sponge with wine vinegar, put it on a staff, and offered it to Jesus to drink. “Now leave him alone. Let’s see if Elijah comes to take him down,” he said. With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last. " Mark 15:33-37

  So either:

  • Jesus was deluded
  • or God is a has a sick sense of humour and set Jesus up to suffer for His fun.
I do not know which it is.  But God does seem to be a sick fuck
"At midnight the Lord struck down all the firstborn in Egypt, from the firstborn of Pharaoh, who sat on the throne, to the firstborn of the prisoner, who was in the dungeon, and the firstborn of all the livestock as well.  Pharaoh and all his officials and all the Egyptians got up during the night, and there was loud wailing in Egypt, for there was not a house without someone dead." Exodus 12:29-30
So God kills everyone's oldest kid.  How is that for child abuse?  And what had the animals done?

Perhaps there is only one way to treat the Bible
And if scripture should not be desecrated for its ethics, how about for its lack of logic

".... Moses summoned all the elders of Israel and said to them, “Go at once and select the animals for your families and slaughter the Passover lamb. Take a bunch of hyssop, dip it into the blood in the basin and put some of the blood on the top and on both sides of the doorframe. None of you shall go out of the door of your house until morning. When the Lord goes through the land to strike down the Egyptians, he will see the blood on the top and sides of the doorframe and will pass over that doorway, and he will not permit the destroyer to enter your houses and strike you down." 

 Couldn't God (as omniscient being) know which families were "his people"?   Could savvy Egyptians have avoided their fate with a bit of red paint on the door post?  Who is the destroyer?  Is God sub-contracting the killing? (Perhaps to Satan?)
Desecrating it does less harm than reading it.
Note to self -watch what you smoke before blogging

Thursday, 28 March 2013

Do introverts like tights because they are so shy that they have to look at feet while talking?

In respond to my idea that tights men are all introverts Cal wrote:
"I suspect my interest in feet started because I was often looking down when talking to people (especially girls) and probably noticed feet, shoes and tighted feet more than most boys. But that could also be a load of bollocks."
Well its as good as any other theory Cal.  It could also be bollocks, but then so is most of Psychology - which is what makes it such fun.  (Subjects where all the answers are know are boring).

Well Cal, here are a few pictures to remind you of your times looking at tighted - (like that word) - feet.
Nice shoes
So shy you can't even stand in front of her?
Are you sure you are just looking down at her feet?
She isn't talking to you (or even looking at you), but you can still look down at her feet
Now Cal, I must say that you have the right attitude, women are the superior species and you should be looking down at our feet.  But sometimes you should be down - looking up at us.
No further down.......

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

Are Tights Men Introverts?

Regular readers of Joy of Tights will know that I'm interested in why some men start taking such an interest in tights.  It occurred to me that it might be because they are introverts.

The terms introvert and extrovert were introduced by Carl Jung.  An introvert is the quiet type of person.  They will prefer their own company.  They do not like being the centre of attention or standing out in crowds.
An introvert will like curling up with a book
Extroverts are just the opposite - they like showing off and being the centre of attention.
Showing off in public is an extrovert trait
An introvert wouldn't show their arse to the world in public
But why should introverted men take such a liking to girls in tights?

Firstly, introverts have a very high level of internal activity in some parts of the brain.  External stimulation overloads them quickly - because they have such a high level to start with.  Perhaps naked flesh is just too much stimulation for these guys - they need it covered with a layer of nylon.
Would the most introverted men find even nude tights too simulating and prefer their woman in opaques?
Too much stimulation here for an introvert - even if most of the girls are in tights?
Secondly, introverts condition more easily.  Apparently if air is puffed into a person's eye (causing them to blink) at the same time as a sound is made, it will require fewer pairing before the introvert blinks at just the sound with no air puff.  (Was Pavlov's dog an introverted canine?).  So the introvert will have to experience fewer sexy woman in tights before he starts associating tights with sexual arousal.
If this guy is an introvert, he could quickly develop a liking for girls in tights and tights feet.
Will the fact she is wearing tights have any long term impact on him?  (BTW like the shoes - hers that is)
Guys leave me a comment if you are an introverted tights lover.  Girls leave me a comment if your man is an introvert who lovers tights.
Is a flash of your tits too much stimulation for him?