Give your colleagues a break work by wearing tights / and get your own back on your employer

Let's face it girls, in Britain today, and indeed probably everywhere else in the world, work SUCKS

You all know the score:

• Falling or frozen pay while prices rise.
• No job security - all short term contracts
• ... so no chance of career progression.
• Boring stuff to do
• Not even able to have a laugh on the job anymore.

It all makes you want to subvert the system.  But what can you do?  Super-glue the executive toilet door shut?  Wind-up IT services by bringing in your own browser and apps on a memory stick?  Spend as much of your working day on the Internet as possible

When tweeting at work it is better not to do anything else that will draw attention to yourself.  (And don't tweet in your own name or say anything to identify yourself)  

Put I got the clue to a great way to subvert work from some of the responses to this blog.

"Anyway, in response to your recent posts on Joy of Tights, a girl in tights at the office makes my workday much less productive, so I can't understand why wearing tights is preferred at the office over bare legs!"  (Anonymous comment on Tumblr)

 "Today was difficult, there was a new hot girl in the office wearing black tights, damn"(Anonymous comment on Tumblr)

"My day job is in an office, and yes, I have to admit I find women's tights a (welcome) distraction." (Cal comment on this Blog)

 So the new way of subverting work?  You guessed it; wearing tights to work.  You can distract the guys and not be blamed for it.  After all you are just looking smart, tights may even be part of your uniform

If your uniform includes a dress, wear tights rather than going bare legged.  If your uniform includes tights, up the distracting power by making your skirt that little bit shorter or by wearing higher heels or sandals to show off your feet.

You may say "what's in it for me?"  After all the guys in your office are getting the pleasure of seeing your legs in tights, what are you getting out of it.  Here is it list:

• The satisfaction of knowing your firm's work is being disrupted.
• Admiring glances from the guys in your office.  Since these guys work with you every day, they are not going to perv you up, because they have to see you tomorrow.
• Having great looking legs and being being able to explore lots of legwear fashion.
• Having another tool to help you to flirt at work.  And who knows flirting at work could lead to:

  

  A guy you like who you can spend lunch breaks with

A guy you that you fancy that can spend the evening with.....

... which might lead to fun for him and hopefully you.

Or if you are really lucky, you'll find a guy who worships you

True not all guys have a tights fetish, but lots of guys like legs.  In tights:

• Your legs will look better
• And you'll have more confidence to show them off.

So how to make your tights a more effective distraction at work.

Don't hide them under trousers

Unless you can spend a lot of time in your stocking feet

Take your shoes off
Lots of men have a foot fetish.  Here is another comment left on this blog

"I don't get the pleasure of working in offices where ladies are wearing tights (i work outdoors) but Mrs Dreyer works in an office with lots of men who she says are always perving at her legs and feet when she kicks her shoes off (most likely why her tights always end up with runs in them)" on A day in the (working) life of a tights loving perv (From John)

Even if all the guys in your office aren't into tights, a lot of them will be into feet.  You could slip your shoes all while having a break

Showing your feet off at other times may be more difficult

The boss will feel she is being too distracting

But you can always slip your shoes off under the desk or behind the counter when you are doing something else

 

And perhaps you can find to excuse to take your shoes off to fix something

"I couldn't get to the printer with my heels on"

Wear sandals
If you can't get your shoes off often, wear sandals or tease with some peep toes.

Get the whole office into tights

If you are all in tights, guys will be distracted where-ever they look

Of course the problem may be getting the rest of the girls in the office into tights.  But as more girls start wearing tights at work, the idea could catch on.

Wearing a short skirt
To help show off your tighted legs.

There are some other ways you could be in a distraction in tights

Some you can get away with...

...some you can't

Warning
Subverting your office by wearing tights won't work if there aren't lots of men in the office.

Guys you won't have the same effect if you put on a pair of tights.

See guys I have been working late into the night, just in case you haven't seen any tights at work.

Hallelujah

You didn't think I meant "Halllujah" in the sense of "God be praised" did you?  This is about something far more important that God - tights.  Yes I know God is the maker of humankind, if he exists in the monotheistic sense, but he doesn't (exist that is).

But to paraphrase the ontological argument.

• It is greater to exist than not to exist
• God does not exist
• Therefore anything that exists is greater than God
• A pair of tights exists
• Therefore a pair of tights are greater than God

So I am right to spend my Sunday blogging about tights rather than worshiping the LORD.  (If you think that argument is circular Google the real ontological argument).

Anyway back to AnnaSophia Robb. She didn't say I've seen the "The Joy of Tights".  I'm sure she does not know this blog exists, what she did say was:

"I've started to care a little more about fashion, I'm starting to wear a lot more tights now. Carrie wears a lot of tights."

Notice she didn't say I'm wearing tights all the time.  Girls only do this in the imagination of pantyhose perverts.

AnnaSophia's revelation came whilst filming the "Carrie Diaries" (The Carrie Diaries is an American teen drama television series. It is a prequel to the HBO television series Sex and the City and based on the book of the same name by Candace Bushnell.) The actress admitted to Us Magazine that she actually had a limited knowledge of fashion before being cast as style icon Carrie Bradshaw.

If you'd care for some of the wiki-pedia facts on AnnaSophia herself

"AnnaSophia Robb (born December 8, 1993) is an American film and television actress. She gained prominence in 2005 with starring roles in Because of Winn-Dixie and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. She is also known for Bridge to Terabithia (2007), Race to Witch Mountain (2009), Soul Surfer (2011). AnnaSophia was born in Denver, Colorado, the only child of Janet, an interior designer, and David Robb, an architect. She was named after her maternal great-grandmother, Anna Sophie, and her paternal grandmother, Anna Marie. She is of English, Scottish, Danish, Swedish, and Irish descent.  AnnaSophia competed in dance and gymnastics for four and a half years, but quit in order to focus on acting."

So can you imitate AnnaSophia's tights style?  Or at least the retro style of AnnaSophia playing a young Carrie Bradshaw?

Well black or nude tights shouldn't be a problem.

White spots on black a bit trickier

White on white....

..or black on black

Let's see those dots close up

Now dots on pink(ish) tights is most difficult of all.  Little black dots on black no probs.

Maybe too many dots....

...a little calmer

Even getting pinky tights may be difficult

The main thing of course is not to slavishly follow anyone else's style, but to find your own Joy in Tights

And finally here's AnnaSophia as her self in opaques

We can all get hold of a nice pair of opaques

And really finally the original

No tights at the races

Girls at Liverpool's Aintree races were demonstrating all the advantages of wearing tights by not wearing them.  Here is a little list I made looking at the media coverage

Tights keep your legs warm

Tights improve the look of your legs

Tights prevent embarrassment
OK she is probably wearing nude tights, but opaques may have been better.

Tights hide pasty legs

Less pasty, but was a lot of work with fake tan required?

Tights stop your shoes rubbing your feet.

Not at the races, but her tights are providing some protection against shoe rub and showing the extra style tights can give your legs

Even if they don't, at least you have some protection on your feet when you take your shoes off

Not taken at the races but showing how tights give you some protection to your shoeless feet

Liverpool One shopping centre reports 8.7% rise in fashion and beauty sales in the six weeks prior to the race meet    As well as 3,500 pints of fake tan 10,000 clutch bags and 38,700 pairs of stiletto heels were sold for the event

Obviously tights sales were not good, but there was some evidence of tights

Nice boots

We older ladies need our tights - like the toes

Some of the tights wearing was by the performers