Wednesday 23 December 2015

Joy of Tights Guide to Christmas Shopping (Part 3)

Morning Boyz.  Hope I have caught you nice and early.  Shops open 'til late.  Today we are going to look at good gifts.  But these do require a lot more thought and planning.
General Points
Buy lots of gifts - you'll get something she likes
Size matters but only when its something she wants
Tech
We like our tech as much as you do, except that we use it to communicate
 Tattoo
 Why not pay for the tat she's always wanted?
 Handbag
A handbag!  Yes a handbag, but make sure you know what she likes or keep the receipt

For a girl you know less well a nice feminine wallet could be a possibility
Cash inside helps too
But choose well
Cosmetics
Better than bath stuff if you choose right
  Perfume
Get the one she likes and she'll think of you every time she puts it on
 
And tech too, a robot to do the cleaning
Clothes

This could go very well, but it could go very very badly.  Are you sure you know her size? And her tastes?
Bath robe could be safe
 Other stuff let's see



Looks like you got away with it - hint of a smile?
But it could all go horribly wrong
Shoes
That's right shoes.  Now this one needs planning.  Like sex you can't do it without getting the girl involved (OK I'm ignoring the fact that you are all wankers).  You need to go to LOADS of shoe shops, let her try on LOADS of shoes and boots, and find a pair that is just right.  Then you pay and wrap them up for Christmas.  Simples.

Except its probably too late for this year.  Maybe next or for her birthday.  (And if you do down the shoe route don't forget surprise presents as well).

Now lets see what that could look like on Christmas morning.
It looks like some other ladies got boots for Christmas

There must be thoughtful men out there after all.  Or at least ones that are properly trained.

But of word of warning don't buy her hiking boots.....
 ...unless she really is into hiking.

And....
... this isn't the kind of shoes we want for Christmas
And Remember

If you have a girl in your life she'll be buying you a present too.
I really, really, hope he didn't buy her that ironing board.
And if you get her gift wrong, you might get a gift matching your (mental and emotional) age.
And Finally....
Remember that Christmas is a religious festival.

Don't forget to worship
The GOD of materialism

But wasn't Baal into child sacrifice?
There again, Christmas is a time for children.
 Note this post contains ironic content

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