Wednesday 22 December 2010

Take your shoes off to dance

Its that time of the year again for office, xmas and New Year's Parties.  Well here's another little tights trivia decision, do you kick off your shoes and dance in your stocking (tights) feet?

For me the answer would always be yes.  Dancing in stocking feet is so much more comfortable. I buy my heels to look good, not be comfortable OK?  And lets face it, it's easier - at least if you are me.  At the best of times I do the spastic chicken dance - sorry that's un PC - some of my best friends are chickens.  (Chicken Pie, Chicken Curry, Roast Chicken).  Now I've upset veggies too.  (I wonder what a veggie tastes like?).  Anyway like I was saying there is no way I can dance in heels when pissed.

I can hear the new puritans saying well "don't get drunk then" and "wear flats".  Well I'm sorry but as Nietzsche said "God is dead",and as others have said life is meaningless and we are all going up the crematorium chimney in a puff of gas.  So what what is left in life except getting pissed, stoned and buying shoes?

Enough philosophy already.  Back to the tights trivia.

OMG she's dancing with the undertaker
My other reason for dancing in my stocking feet is guys find it more sexy.  Of course there are those - more than you think - who have a nylon foot fetish and will go home and use a box of Kleenex after seeing some nice "pantyhosed" feet on the dance floor.  But I think most guys probably find stocking feet sexy.  After all, they reason, "she's got her shoes off" , so "only the tights and knickers to go".  Maybe they are right.

Of course there are down sides on boogieing in your stocking feet.  Stepping in spilt crisps, nuts and drink.  Having your feet stabbed by the bitch who kept her heels on.

Giving her feet a rest
I don't recommend keeping your shoes off all the time.  Some girls arrive and its straight off with their heels.  What's the point - you need to show them off for the first half of the evening.  I only slip out of me heels when I'm getting well lubricated and the dance floor is starting to fill up.

Can you dance in tights feet at any occasion?  At weddings its compulsory.  Not that I believe in weddings but its a chance to get rat arsed and maybe laid.  Home parties its fine - they may even expect it to protect the carpet (!)  At office parties its acceptable - since you are among friends and colleagues.  No, I'm lying.  I'm among the cows that hate me and I hate them.  But if they don't like it, they need to talk to my stocking feet, 'cos my face ain't listening.  Clubbing you need to play it by ear.  Sometimes its cool, sometimes too crowded. 

Get 'em off (the shoes alright)
OK, if you think you might be slipping your shoes off when you hit the dance floor, what kind of tights should you wear?  Well not too sheer - at least 15 denier - or they won't survive.  Reinforced toes are best.  Nothing looks more tacky than strutting your stuff with your toes poking through your tights.  Although if you are wearing tights with sandals you might consider sheer or sandal toe to make your shoes look better.  You can get away with reinforced toe pantyhose with peep-toe shoes.  Oh best and all the usual stuff: match your tights with your outfit, make sure your hose are lighter than your shoes etc etc.

Well my lunch break is over so back to the office.  But I'll be back soon with more tights trivia and more anger.


Did those feet attract the boys?


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