Poor Pantyhose Pussy

Hot on the tail of dogs in pantyhose comes cats in pantyhose.  Found recently.

Now I don't think that this cat is actually wearing pantyhose.  They have been more pulled on its bottom half like some nylon sleeping bag.  There is no way that cat would walk in pantyhose or even have them pulled over its legs.  Cats are not as stupid as dogs.

But just in case remember

You wear the pantyhose not the cat.

The same goes for thicker tights as well as for sheer pantyhose - you wear them not the cat

And don't even think of puss in Boots or puss in Heels

Can you imagine a big cat in pantyhose?  Don't put your little pussy in hose either.

Of course there are some kinds of pussy that can go in pantyhose.

And some of my male readers prefer them that way.

Give your colleagues a break work by wearing tights / and get your own back on your employer

Let's face it girls, in Britain today, and indeed probably everywhere else in the world, work SUCKS

You all know the score:

• Falling or frozen pay while prices rise.
• No job security - all short term contracts
• ... so no chance of career progression.
• Boring stuff to do
• Not even able to have a laugh on the job anymore.

It all makes you want to subvert the system.  But what can you do?  Super-glue the executive toilet door shut?  Wind-up IT services by bringing in your own browser and apps on a memory stick?  Spend as much of your working day on the Internet as possible

When tweeting at work it is better not to do anything else that will draw attention to yourself.  (And don't tweet in your own name or say anything to identify yourself)  

Put I got the clue to a great way to subvert work from some of the responses to this blog.

"Anyway, in response to your recent posts on Joy of Tights, a girl in tights at the office makes my workday much less productive, so I can't understand why wearing tights is preferred at the office over bare legs!"  (Anonymous comment on Tumblr)

 "Today was difficult, there was a new hot girl in the office wearing black tights, damn"(Anonymous comment on Tumblr)

"My day job is in an office, and yes, I have to admit I find women's tights a (welcome) distraction." (Cal comment on this Blog)

 So the new way of subverting work?  You guessed it; wearing tights to work.  You can distract the guys and not be blamed for it.  After all you are just looking smart, tights may even be part of your uniform

If your uniform includes a dress, wear tights rather than going bare legged.  If your uniform includes tights, up the distracting power by making your skirt that little bit shorter or by wearing higher heels or sandals to show off your feet.

You may say "what's in it for me?"  After all the guys in your office are getting the pleasure of seeing your legs in tights, what are you getting out of it.  Here is it list:

• The satisfaction of knowing your firm's work is being disrupted.
• Admiring glances from the guys in your office.  Since these guys work with you every day, they are not going to perv you up, because they have to see you tomorrow.
• Having great looking legs and being being able to explore lots of legwear fashion.
• Having another tool to help you to flirt at work.  And who knows flirting at work could lead to:

  

  A guy you like who you can spend lunch breaks with

A guy you that you fancy that can spend the evening with.....

... which might lead to fun for him and hopefully you.

Or if you are really lucky, you'll find a guy who worships you

True not all guys have a tights fetish, but lots of guys like legs.  In tights:

• Your legs will look better
• And you'll have more confidence to show them off.

So how to make your tights a more effective distraction at work.

Don't hide them under trousers

Unless you can spend a lot of time in your stocking feet

Take your shoes off
Lots of men have a foot fetish.  Here is another comment left on this blog

"I don't get the pleasure of working in offices where ladies are wearing tights (i work outdoors) but Mrs Dreyer works in an office with lots of men who she says are always perving at her legs and feet when she kicks her shoes off (most likely why her tights always end up with runs in them)" on A day in the (working) life of a tights loving perv (From John)

Even if all the guys in your office aren't into tights, a lot of them will be into feet.  You could slip your shoes all while having a break

Showing your feet off at other times may be more difficult

The boss will feel she is being too distracting

But you can always slip your shoes off under the desk or behind the counter when you are doing something else

 

And perhaps you can find to excuse to take your shoes off to fix something

"I couldn't get to the printer with my heels on"

Wear sandals
If you can't get your shoes off often, wear sandals or tease with some peep toes.

Get the whole office into tights

If you are all in tights, guys will be distracted where-ever they look

Of course the problem may be getting the rest of the girls in the office into tights.  But as more girls start wearing tights at work, the idea could catch on.

Wearing a short skirt
To help show off your tighted legs.

There are some other ways you could be in a distraction in tights

Some you can get away with...

...some you can't

Warning
Subverting your office by wearing tights won't work if there aren't lots of men in the office.

Guys you won't have the same effect if you put on a pair of tights.

See guys I have been working late into the night, just in case you haven't seen any tights at work.

Jersey Shore of Pantyhose

I came across Jersey Shore on a web trawl for something else.

Jersey Shore was an American reality television series which ran on MTV from December 3, 2009 to December 20, 2012. The series follows the lives of eight housemates spending their summer at the Jersey Shore in the U.S. state of New Jersey.

Think "Only Way is Essex" in the sunshine - roughly.

The participants (sadly) only occasionally wear pantyhose, but here some of the are in "hose".  

Jennifer Farley  aka "JWoww"

This look was criticized as a Jersey Shore biggest fashion fail.  Personally I like the dress and so what if the tights are white?

Farley is a graphic designer and club promoter from Franklin Square, New York. During the casting process, she stated, "I thought the guys would be enormous and really mean, and I thought the girls would be catty and overdone." She enters the shore house with a steady relationship at home but cheats on her boyfriend with cast mate DelVecchio and ends her relationship in season 3 episode 4 for different reasons. Farley has had breast augmentation surgery, which she got as a birthday present to herself just before turning 21.  Good for her for getting bigger tits I say.

Love her for wearing sandals with pantyhose

Nicole Polizzi aka Snooki

I hope she is wearing pantyhose

Polizzi is from Marlboro, New York, and is an aspiring veterinary technician. She applied to an ad on Facebook that said "Calling all guidos and guidettes," which Polizzi said, "was definitely about my lifestyle." Polizzi earned the nickname "Snooki" in middle school after being the first of her friends to "make out" with a boy. She became the center of controversy when a man punched her in her face during a bar confrontation. Polizzi was arrested by Seaside police on July 30, 2010 on public intoxication charges, which were later dropped. She previously suffered from an eating disorder in high school but so what?

BTW   Guidette = A female guido; characteristic for having an absurdly long Italian name, breast implants, and tight clothing. Prominent in New Jersey.

Hearts, Saint Valentine and Stuff

Its Valentine's day again so here are some tights and other stuff with hearts on.

Passionate Red Hearts

Big Chunky Black Hearts

Big Black Hearts on Sheer Black Tights

Traditional Little Black Hearts on Sheer Black Tights

She loves London, but more that her tights?

Fun with hearts on her tights

Hearts On Dresses (with tights of course)

Did you know...
Apparently
Valentinus (the way the Roman's said Valentine) Bishop of Terni was  arrested  serving Jesus and was sent to the prefect of Rome, to the emperor Claudius himself. Claudius took a liking to him until Valentinus tried to lead Claudius to Jesus, whereupon Claudius refused and condemned Valentinus to death, commanding that Valentinus either renounce his faith or he would be beaten with clubs, and beheaded. Valentinus refused and Claudius' command was executed outside the Flaminian Gate February 14, 269.

What has that got to do with love and sex - Valentine was a bishop and probably didn't get any. (To this day bishops in the Orthodox Church - probably the closest to that of 269  are - celibate.)

I could get to like this Claudius.

Personally I think beheading is to good for them - even if they are under cover pretending to be normal people - BURN 'EM like they would do to us I say.

(BTW why do Christians only criticize sex outside marriage when they have had lots?) 

Valentine's day word cloud

It's Snow Joke - Advice on Keeping Warm in Snowy Weather

Fresh snow across parts of the UK has caused further travel disruption.

Norwich airport is closed and police in Norfolk have reported 63 crashes on the county's roads since midnight.

Yellow warnings advising the public to "be aware" of frozen conditions and hazardous roads in eastern England and south-east Scotland have been issued by the Met Office.

Forecasters said the cold spell would continue until Friday.


It comes after about 3in (8cm) of snow fell in Norfolk and Suffolk on Monday morning, with parts of the East Midlands, south-east England, north-east England, south-west Scotland, Lothian and the Borders and Yorkshire and the Humber also affected.


Temperatures across the UK on Tuesday range between 0C and 4C but forecasters said sleet and snow could result in icy stretches overnight into Wednesday as surfaces froze under them. (Info from BBC Weather)

So here is Joy of Tights advice in such weather.
(1) Wear tights under your trousers.

(2) Wear sensible shoes

(3) Keep your arse from getting cold

(4) Have something warming to drink