Blasphemous Rumours

In Satan's great master-plan to corrupt humankind via the Internet, Joy of Tights is an insignificant and low key part.  My role is discuss whether tights should be worn with sandals....

........ and so encourage guys to take an abnormal interest in feet and shoes and indeed tights.  Or I might discuss how guys acquire their fetish for tights.

And in doing help men to think that their tights fetish, and by extension other more extreme perversions, are normal and so to be indulged.  It might even show nyloned feet, in the pretext of discussing different types of tights toes......

These are sheer toes by the way

 .....but really seeking to lead men to foot worship.

Form where they can start looking for nylon footjob videos and be lead to the glorious nest of corruption that is (for instance) xHamster.

But today I feel like blogging a deliciously depraved post.  What has brought on this desire?

Good Friday.  The day Christians celebrate the crucifixion of Jesus.

Satan himself requires me to desecrate this day with images mocking and perverting the faith.

But is not the Christian faith -in itself - beyond parody and perversion?

Jesus appeared to be convinced that God wants him to die for others

"For even I (literally the Son of Man) did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" Mark 10:45

Now I have no objection to people seeking pain for pleasure or payment.

However, Jesus was not just to be shitting bricks but sweating blood over his fate.

"Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. On reaching the place, he said to them, “Pray that you will not fall into temptation.”  He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed,  “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”  An angel from heaven  appeared to him and strengthened him.  And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like  drops of blood falling to the ground." Luke 22:39-44

And after all this Jesus thinks God has deserted him.

"At noon, darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon. And at three in the afternoon Jesus  cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).  When some of those standing near heard this, they said, “Listen, he’s calling Elijah.”  Someone ran, filled a sponge with wine vinegar, put it on a staff, and offered it to Jesus to drink. “Now leave him alone. Let’s see if Elijah comes to take him down,” he said. With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last. " Mark 15:33-37

  So either:

• Jesus was deluded
• or God is a has a sick sense of humour and set Jesus up to suffer for His fun.

I do not know which it is.  But God does seem to be a sick fuck

"At midnight the Lord struck down all the firstborn in Egypt, from the firstborn of Pharaoh, who sat on the throne, to the firstborn of the prisoner, who was in the dungeon, and the firstborn of all the livestock as well.  Pharaoh and all his officials and all the Egyptians got up during the night, and there was loud wailing in Egypt, for there was not a house without someone dead." Exodus 12:29-30

So God kills everyone's oldest kid.  How is that for child abuse?  And what had the animals done?

Perhaps there is only one way to treat the Bible

And if scripture should not be desecrated for its ethics, how about for its lack of logic

".... Moses summoned all the elders of Israel and said to them, “Go at once and select the animals for your families and slaughter the Passover lamb. Take a bunch of hyssop, dip it into the blood in the basin and put some of the blood on the top and on both sides of the doorframe. None of you shall go out of the door of your house until morning. When the Lord goes through the land to strike down the Egyptians, he will see the blood on the top and sides of the doorframe and will pass over that doorway, and he will not permit the destroyer to enter your houses and strike you down." 

 Couldn't God (as omniscient being) know which families were "his people"?   Could savvy Egyptians have avoided their fate with a bit of red paint on the door post?  Who is the destroyer?  Is God sub-contracting the killing? (Perhaps to Satan?)

Desecrating it does less harm than reading it.

Note to self -watch what you smoke before blogging

Zombie Pantyhose

I think this effect might be painted on stockings or hold-up rather than tights - interesting none the less

Airport security joy for nylon feet lovers

None of us want to incinerated in a fireball because of a mid-air plane bomb.  (Planted I might note in passing, by religious nutters - who says that belief in God is a good thing?)

No one would want Keira Knightley to be burnt to ashes in a plane bomb.  I hear that tights burn well and stick to the skin

So Joy of Tights is pleased that airports take extra care with security

Airport security even requires shoes to be removed and people to stand in their stocking feet.

Now Joy of Tights thinks that making people take their shoes off at airports is a good thing for several reasons:

• It reduces the risk of being burnt up mid-air (obviously)
• It allows feet to cool nicely after they get all hot and smelly in the rush to the airport
• Feet get a rest from lovely, but painful, heels.
• Any guys who like nyloned feet get a little bit of pleasure in the security queue and this probably makes them more patient.  And if a bomb does to get through at least the last memory of their brain before it is incinerated is a nice one.
• Feet loving airport security staff are less likely to get bored and miss something with nice nyloned feet coming through
• Through their actions religious nutters - who hate women looking sexy - have given women another chance to look sexy.  And I think taking shoes off can be sexy even to a man without a foot fetish - after all a small part of a man's brain gets excited when a woman takes anything off hoping more will follow.

Lindsey Lohan

For those of you who might be a little nervous about taking your shoes off in public Demi Lovato (American singer-songwriter, musician, actress, and anti-bullying spokesperson, who is involved in philanthropic activities through charity work and various social and environmental causes) shows how easy it is

Demi arrives at the airport

Loosening the first boot 

One boot off

Second boot off

Demi standing in hers stocking feet

And for all of their fans some more pics of our sexy girls

Demi Lovato shopping - nice shoes - prefer the black myself

Linsey Lohan - also shopping

Keira Knightley - not shopping but....

......in stockings

BTW: Didn't want to mention this before.
Joy of Tights wonders if the need to take shoes off when going through airport security has really been a plus for security staff with a nylon foot fetish.  They must enjoy all those nylon feet, but can they still do their jobs properly or do they keep nipping off for a wank every time they see a nice pair of nyloned feet - leaving those feet vulnerable to incineration in a terrorist outrage?

My little word cloud for this post

Succubi

A succubus (plural succubi) is a female demon or supernatural entity that appears in dreams, who takes the form of a human woman in order to seduce men, usually through sexual intercourse.

Now I don't know what form a succubus would take to tempt modern man but perhaps in would be something like this:

Reinforced toes to tempt a certain type of foot fetish feind

Coming on all coy just to temp you

Clawing to get in to get you

See how sexy sandals are girls?  Guys she wants it in her mouth

Perhaps the sexy succubus is too much for some guys and you would prefer a little angel.

She may be a white but you can tell she is a fallen angel

Guys have you encountered a Succubus?  For the good book says

"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." (Hebrews 13:2)

So you tied her up because you thought she was a Succubus.  A likrly story.

 In fact you will not know if she is a Succubus, until she gives you a blow job....

And proceeds to bite your cock off.  A girl has to get her MEAT somewhere!

Plus Tights

The national average for UK girls is ....... a curvy size 16.  Sales of plus size clothing are up 40 per cent since 2007.  So are plus size tights for us curvy girls?

Traditionally curvy girls often went for flattering black opaques.

Or made big statements, to go with our big personalities

Cool sandals

But why not curvy girls in sheers?

Curves with attitude

There have always be a range of great sheer styles available for us - although many on line only

Sandal toes

Touch of class - seams

And don't forget the fishnets

But now according to manufacturer Crete there is now a revolution for the larger lady in tights.  They have created Madison Plus Size Tights, which cater for up to size 34 and use a first of its kind Lycra Xceptionelle - a Lycra technology so new that it's still awaiting its patent.  (Hmmm perhaps its not obviously revolutionary then .... if they are still having to think about the patent).

The 20 denier tights have been tailor made to offer the correct compression to the right part of the leg with a special reinforced inner thigh area made in a high denier yarn.  The new design aims to eliminate painful chafing that many women on the go suffer with.  The new tights reduce dig-in at the waist or thigh (apparently).

It is good that Cette got the packaging right.....

83% of plus size testers found the garment very different (but was it very different in a good way?) to any other existing product in the marketplace.

.... unlike some we could mention....

So it appears that

• More of us are bigger than ever.   MyTights.com who sell the new hosiery saw a 41 per cent increase in like-for-like for plus size products
• The Cette hype is paying off,  Mytights.com also said Cette tights pre-orders are sky high.

Big girls tights, without the big girls

Big stocking sales too?  Hope not tights offer much more control.

Pantyhose Performance

So you want to be on the stage?  Perhaps the next greatest X-factor artist.  I am going to explain why you should wear tights during your act using Sheridan Smith as an example.

For those of you who don't know Sheridan Smith (born 25 June 1981) is an English actress. In television, Sheridan s first TV appearance came in 1999 when she played Matilda in ITV's Dark Ages, and she is best known for her roles on the comedy series Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps, Gavin & Stacey (2008–10), and Benidorm (2009). Sheridan played the title role in the five-part series Mrs Biggs (2012), as Charmian Biggs, wife of Ronnie Biggs. She is also a critically acclaimed West End theatre actress, having won two Laurence Olivier Awards in two consecutive years:[1] in 2011, the award for Best Actress in a Musical for playing Elle Woods in Legally Blonde; and in 2012, that for Best Performance in a Supporting Role for her performance as Doris in the revival of Flare Path.

Reason 1 for wearing tights on stage - they make your legs look so much better.  Any little imperfections are hidden giving a smooth uniform appearance.

Reason 2 They make you appeal to the tights lovers in the audience.  Look at it this way, wearing nude sheer tights is unlikely to put any guys off and it might attract a few extra fans

Shot for his nylon scrapbook

Reason 3 They stop your heels from rubbing.  Don't knock it - they might just stop the blisters.

Do those shoes hurt or is sheet teasing guys with a foot fetish

Reason 4. When performing outside they keep you warm

A little draft up that skirt.

Reason 5 They preserve your modesty.  Well a little a bit.  When on the stage in a short skirt guys can easily get a some up-skirt.  At least they only see your tights, not your panties and any escaping hairs.

Cotton gusset visible.  Nice to know Sheridan is letting her muff breath

Reason 6.  They allow you to take your shoes off.  Taking your heels off can make performing more comfortable.  It can also give your audience a feel of informality and even intimacy.  And of course it will appeal to guys with a foot fetish, one of the most common fetishes.  The tights will make your feet look better for these pervs and attract other pervs who just like tights feet.

On a different note, you don't have to give up smoking to be a star, Sheridan struts her stuff on stage, but still enjoys a cigi.  Evidence that smoking need not be bad for you.

On Nicotine breakwhile shooting the BBC TV adaptation of the book Mr Stink.

And just to show you it isn't just Sheridan who performs in tights here is Carrie Underwood

For those of you who don't know. Carrie Marie Underwood (born March 10, 1983) is an American country music singer, songwriter, and actress. She rose to fame as the winner of the fourth season of American Idol in 2005. Underwood has since become a multi-platinum selling recording artist, a winner of several Grammy Awards, Billboard Music Awards and American Music Awards, a Golden Globe Award nominee, a three-time Academy of Country Music and Country Music Association Female Vocalist winner, and a two-time ACM Entertainer of the Year. She is the first female artist to win back-to-back Academy of Country Music (ACM) Awards for Entertainer of the Year (2009/10). Underwood was inducted into and became a member of the Grand Ole Opry in 2008. She was also inducted into the Oklahoma Music Hall of Fame in 2009.

Notice that Carrie's approach to performing in tights is different to Sheridan's.  Sheridan's tights were sheer nude and you might not have known they were on.  Carrie's are in your face opaques.   You only see Sheridan's feet when she slips her shoes off, with Carrie her teasing toes are always perking out from her sandals.

Bonus Pictures

First Sheridan daring bare for her audience. In September 2011 Sheridan  had to cover her breasts with her hands as she stood, semi-naked in just knickers, suspenders and stockings, in front of 1,000 people in London.   But this was not a saucy new show to hit London's West End but a charity event - and a daring one at that - to raise money for the Make A Difference Trust.  Sheridan being encouraged to bare all by none other than Gok Wan

And now of Carrie in some very nice tights and sandals and being very pleased she has tights on.

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