Poor Pantyhose Pussy

Hot on the tail of dogs in pantyhose comes cats in pantyhose.  Found recently.

Now I don't think that this cat is actually wearing pantyhose.  They have been more pulled on its bottom half like some nylon sleeping bag.  There is no way that cat would walk in pantyhose or even have them pulled over its legs.  Cats are not as stupid as dogs.

But just in case remember

You wear the pantyhose not the cat.

The same goes for thicker tights as well as for sheer pantyhose - you wear them not the cat

And don't even think of puss in Boots or puss in Heels

Can you imagine a big cat in pantyhose?  Don't put your little pussy in hose either.

Of course there are some kinds of pussy that can go in pantyhose.

And some of my male readers prefer them that way.

Hallelujah

You didn't think I meant "Halllujah" in the sense of "God be praised" did you?  This is about something far more important that God - tights.  Yes I know God is the maker of humankind, if he exists in the monotheistic sense, but he doesn't (exist that is).

But to paraphrase the ontological argument.

• It is greater to exist than not to exist
• God does not exist
• Therefore anything that exists is greater than God
• A pair of tights exists
• Therefore a pair of tights are greater than God

So I am right to spend my Sunday blogging about tights rather than worshiping the LORD.  (If you think that argument is circular Google the real ontological argument).

Anyway back to AnnaSophia Robb. She didn't say I've seen the "The Joy of Tights".  I'm sure she does not know this blog exists, what she did say was:

"I've started to care a little more about fashion, I'm starting to wear a lot more tights now. Carrie wears a lot of tights."

Notice she didn't say I'm wearing tights all the time.  Girls only do this in the imagination of pantyhose perverts.

AnnaSophia's revelation came whilst filming the "Carrie Diaries" (The Carrie Diaries is an American teen drama television series. It is a prequel to the HBO television series Sex and the City and based on the book of the same name by Candace Bushnell.) The actress admitted to Us Magazine that she actually had a limited knowledge of fashion before being cast as style icon Carrie Bradshaw.

If you'd care for some of the wiki-pedia facts on AnnaSophia herself

"AnnaSophia Robb (born December 8, 1993) is an American film and television actress. She gained prominence in 2005 with starring roles in Because of Winn-Dixie and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. She is also known for Bridge to Terabithia (2007), Race to Witch Mountain (2009), Soul Surfer (2011). AnnaSophia was born in Denver, Colorado, the only child of Janet, an interior designer, and David Robb, an architect. She was named after her maternal great-grandmother, Anna Sophie, and her paternal grandmother, Anna Marie. She is of English, Scottish, Danish, Swedish, and Irish descent.  AnnaSophia competed in dance and gymnastics for four and a half years, but quit in order to focus on acting."

So can you imitate AnnaSophia's tights style?  Or at least the retro style of AnnaSophia playing a young Carrie Bradshaw?

Well black or nude tights shouldn't be a problem.

White spots on black a bit trickier

White on white....

..or black on black

Let's see those dots close up

Now dots on pink(ish) tights is most difficult of all.  Little black dots on black no probs.

Maybe too many dots....

...a little calmer

Even getting pinky tights may be difficult

The main thing of course is not to slavishly follow anyone else's style, but to find your own Joy in Tights

And finally here's AnnaSophia as her self in opaques

We can all get hold of a nice pair of opaques

And really finally the original

Do guys like girls in tights and shorts?

Yesterday I discussed why girls should wear a shorts and tights combo.  I didn't say that men like this combination  for two reasons.  Firstly, and most importantly, we shouldn't give a fuck what they think.  Secondly, I have no idea what blokes think about wearing tights with shorts.

Today guys I'm going to ask you what you think about girls in tights and shorts.  Don't be shy, do my poll.  Better still, leave me a comment.  I love reading your comments.

Don't let this go to your heads.  What you think is not binding on any girl.  Sometimes it is useful to know what pushes your buttons, so we can push the right button to get the right (for us) result.  And besides those of us of a scientific bent like understanding simple systems - such as bacteria and men.

These girls won't try to push your buttons, kicking you in the balls is much more fun

To help the hard of thinking male, that's all of you, I'm going to blog what you might think about tights and shorts. This will help you form an opinion, rather than just following the diktats of your dick.

First - the reasons why you, as a guy, might like girls wearing tights and shorts

1. You see more leg
It can't be denied, short shorts show a lot of leg.  A nice pair of tights improves the look of the leg.  This should particularly appeal to "leg men" and to guys with an explicit tights fetish - who want to see as much nylon as possible.

Not enough leg?

Too much leg?

.Just the right amount of leg for a leg man?

2. You (may) get to see a flash of tights top
This will appeal not only to the tights fetishist, but to the general pervert who just loves seeing girl's underwear.

3. You think a girl wearing shorts and tights may be a bit of a rebel.
Now let's be honest guys, you don't care about a girl's general rebelliousness.  You are not bothered if she is an anarchist with a plan to overthrow the state,  or has a desire to save the planet.  You think a rebel is more likely to shag you.

Rebel with a drink

4. You have developed a fetish for girls in shorts and tights.

This particularly applies to guys in the USA, who have acquired their love of tights and shorts from too many visits to Hooters "restuarants".  (I use the word advisedly).

Real Hooters' shorts - original

Real Hooters' shorts - new style

Hooters' Girls without their shorts

Not real Hooters' shorts - she has feet in her pantyhose

Now the reasons why guys may not like girls in shorts and tights


1. They don't reveal enough.
Yes, unbelievable isn't it?  Nonetheless some guys may be upset that shorts all but rule out the chance of getting a glance at your pants.

Other guys may think that shorts and tights don't reveal enough leg.  Perhaps because short shorts are often paired with opaque tights, or perhaps because these guys just prefer bare legs

Opaques with shorts bad, sheer tights with dress good.

2. They are not smart enough
Some guys may prefer a girl "dressed up" to looking casual.  Now I can sympathise with this.  I like guys in shirt and tie. But perhaps this is so, 'cos those guys have got the dough.

Casual in the kitchen

Slippers and stocking feet, you can't get more casual than that.

3. They like girls in dresses and skirts
This may be because they like "feminine" women.  Alternatively it may just be a version of (1) or (2) above.

4. They think shorts look too young.
Now this is probably true for some men.  But knowing the dark side of male nature and how evolution has programmed men to look for the most fertile (i.e. youngest) women I can't imagine its a general problem.

So guys - tights with shorts - cool or crap. Leave me a comment.

BTW: To the guy who asked me not to be a lazy cow, see I've done a nice post for you, now leave me a comment of your view of tights with shorts and do my poll.

Ten reasons for tights under shorts.

According to StyleBistro: on the set of a new TV pilot, Krysten Ritter re-introduced the tights-under-shorts trend.

Krysten Ritter

Now I'm not aware that the trend had gone away.  In its most recent incarnation I think the trend may go back to girls in the Far East.

Girls from the Far East in the far Far West (Cardiff)

Although in fact it goes all the way back to the Dukes of Hazard in the 1970s.  Apparently seeing Daisy Duke in shorts and bare legs was considered too provocative.  So, she had to wear pantyhose with her shorts creating a whole new male fetish.

It also it depends what we mean by shorts.  Here I'm talking about short shorts rather than knee length shorts.  Knee lengths shorts are cool too.  If nothing else they may provide a stepping stone for the shy on the way to short shorts, its just that this blog post will get long enough just confining itself to short shorts.

Not so short shorts with tights

I know I have blogged something like this before, but in case there is any danger of this fantastic trend dying out, here are 10 reasons for wearing shorts with tights.

(1) Shorts let you show off your legs whilst hiding them.
Very Zen.  "What is the appearance of the leg you cannot see?"  But you know what I mean.  The pasty whiteness of your legs can be hidden under tan tights.

If you have a little more to hide, such as cellulite or having not shaved your legs recently, then you can go for more opaque tights.

BTW I am not making any judgement on this girl's legs.  I am sure they are fantastic.  Often tights with shorts are just a fashion statement 

(2) Tights keep your legs warm.
You can show off your shapely pins without freezing to death.  This means that you can wear shorts in the autumn and winter months and not just in the summer.

Autumnal shorts

To keep the chill breeze off

(3) You can show off more leg with shorts
Sure you can go for a short skirt and tights.

A little too short girls?

Maybe you can get away with it with opaques, but more sheer tights?

With shorts you can show maximum leg in sheer or opaque tights.

(4) Tights with shorts protects your modesty.
No embarrassing "up-skirt" shot to go on facebook no matter how you position yourself.  You can enjoy yourself without worrying what anyone else might see.

See no pants

At a more subtle level, shorts with tights show that you are not an easy lay.  What! Has Joy of Tights suddenly got fundamentalist religion?  No, simple fact of evolution, guys are programmed to take advantage at the slightest encouragement.  3 layers shorts, tights, knickers tells him that he won't get inside all three layers unless you think he is really worth it.

Which girl will he go for? Is the one on the right too willing?

In case you think I'm being unfair to the male sex, I found this comment online

"It doesn't matter as long as I can get into her vagina, mouth, and hopefully anus. That's the answer for every heterosexual male." Yahoo question

(5) You can be cheeky with tights
I'm not contradicting point (4).  You can be cheeky by showing the tops of your tights, even though you are not revealing that much.  Sort of showing your underwear while not showing your underwear.  You can be a bit of a rebel with shorts and tights.

Can you see her tights tops?

(6) Shorts let you show off your tights.
If you have a great pair of tights, why hide them with a below the knee skirt, or even a just above the knee skirt?  I know a lot of tights have a repeated design, but even these look better if you can see the whole length of the tights.

Furthermore, some designs like suspender tights loose their raison d'être (see I can do posh), if you cannot see the whole length of the leg.

This may be the ideal way of showing off your new pair of suspender tights.......

... but this is a tad more practical.

(7) Tights with shorts add variety to your wardrobe.
Now I am not suggesting that you should wear nothing but tights and shorts

Yes, a top with those tights and shorts would help

But they can add yet another dimension to your outfits.  Why stick with just skirts, dresses and long trousers?  Shorts themselves come in any different flavours

Traditional denim cut off

Tight and shiney (not sure...)

Coloured and cut off

Smart casual - as modeled but Sienna Miller

And of course you can multiply the possibilities by matching with all sorts of tights.

From classic black sheers.....

.... to something a bit more patterned.

(8) You can wear shorts and tights in lots of different places

I'm not sure I agree with StyleBirsto that you can wear shorts and tights at work.  But adding tights to shorts does add formality provided the shorts are not cut off.

Jennifer Love-Hewitt looking very business like, but I'm not sure my boss would like it

Smart, but is it smart enough for work?  Probably not, but perhaps OK for a more formal night out with friends

(9) Celebs are into the style.

Besides those seen earlier

Nicole Richie

Miranda Kerr

Zooey Deschanel - a favourite of joy of tights

(10) Everyone else is doing it

Oh no they are not!

I'm not sure this a good reason, but for what its worth, here is a poll from that StyleBistro page.

Observant readers will have noticed that I haven't cited men liking girls in shorts as a reason for wearing shorts with tights because:

• I don't know what men think (who does, do they even?).  Perhaps this is a topic for a poll.
• What men like shouldn't be our main concern.

Does he like her in tights and shorts showing the tops of her tights?  Should she give a shit?

Girl in shorts and tights likes girl in skirt and tights.  Is in mutual?

BTW: Don't expect a long post tomorrow, today and yesterday I am off work waiting for the great Britsh workman.