Hallelujah

You didn't think I meant "Halllujah" in the sense of "God be praised" did you?  This is about something far more important that God - tights.  Yes I know God is the maker of humankind, if he exists in the monotheistic sense, but he doesn't (exist that is).

But to paraphrase the ontological argument.

• It is greater to exist than not to exist
• God does not exist
• Therefore anything that exists is greater than God
• A pair of tights exists
• Therefore a pair of tights are greater than God

So I am right to spend my Sunday blogging about tights rather than worshiping the LORD.  (If you think that argument is circular Google the real ontological argument).

Anyway back to AnnaSophia Robb. She didn't say I've seen the "The Joy of Tights".  I'm sure she does not know this blog exists, what she did say was:

"I've started to care a little more about fashion, I'm starting to wear a lot more tights now. Carrie wears a lot of tights."

Notice she didn't say I'm wearing tights all the time.  Girls only do this in the imagination of pantyhose perverts.

AnnaSophia's revelation came whilst filming the "Carrie Diaries" (The Carrie Diaries is an American teen drama television series. It is a prequel to the HBO television series Sex and the City and based on the book of the same name by Candace Bushnell.) The actress admitted to Us Magazine that she actually had a limited knowledge of fashion before being cast as style icon Carrie Bradshaw.

If you'd care for some of the wiki-pedia facts on AnnaSophia herself

"AnnaSophia Robb (born December 8, 1993) is an American film and television actress. She gained prominence in 2005 with starring roles in Because of Winn-Dixie and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. She is also known for Bridge to Terabithia (2007), Race to Witch Mountain (2009), Soul Surfer (2011). AnnaSophia was born in Denver, Colorado, the only child of Janet, an interior designer, and David Robb, an architect. She was named after her maternal great-grandmother, Anna Sophie, and her paternal grandmother, Anna Marie. She is of English, Scottish, Danish, Swedish, and Irish descent.  AnnaSophia competed in dance and gymnastics for four and a half years, but quit in order to focus on acting."

So can you imitate AnnaSophia's tights style?  Or at least the retro style of AnnaSophia playing a young Carrie Bradshaw?

Well black or nude tights shouldn't be a problem.

White spots on black a bit trickier

White on white....

..or black on black

Let's see those dots close up

Now dots on pink(ish) tights is most difficult of all.  Little black dots on black no probs.

Maybe too many dots....

...a little calmer

Even getting pinky tights may be difficult

The main thing of course is not to slavishly follow anyone else's style, but to find your own Joy in Tights

And finally here's AnnaSophia as her self in opaques

We can all get hold of a nice pair of opaques

And really finally the original

A day in the (working) life of a tights loving perv

Yesterday, I had this feedback via Tumblr

"great post :) I would add a comment but I dont have any anonymous account thingy, I take back calling you lazy ! Today was difficult, there was a new hot girl in the office wearing black tights, damn."

Now this got me thinking.  Are there loads of tights fetishists out there who spend their working days perving their work colleagues legs in tights?  As THE FAT MAN (aka boyfriend) is writing an essay tonight - (he's an immature student) - I thought I'd do a bit of web research.  I came up with pics from this guy who was not only perving his colleagues tighted legs, he was also photographing them on his mobile (WTF).

So I present his images - top and tailed with what he might have seen before and after work.

Before work.....

If he saw these cuban heeled tights (stockings?) on the way to work it would start his day off on the right foot (or is that with the right feet?)

The morning 

Greet a colleague or at least her legs

What did she think he was doing under the desk?

Coffee break

Seen when he dropped his pen - yeah right

Lunch

Lunch - he finds it tastey

Afternoon

Needs to do some ... copying

In a meeting - he does not appear to be concentrating on the agenda

"Woops sorry wrong office!"

Are they talking about the way he looks at women's legs all day? No he mustn't be paranoid, there is nothing abnormal about watching your workmates through a cupboard.

Says good bye to colleagues as he leaves (not usually done from under a desk).

Going home
All that time perving but no stocking feet, not even shoe play.  Then on the way home a girl on the train has no take her boots off to rest her feet

Our hero goes who happy.  He will have a lot of think about this weekend.  Perhaps he'll spend the morning in bed.

Ten reasons for tights under shorts.

According to StyleBistro: on the set of a new TV pilot, Krysten Ritter re-introduced the tights-under-shorts trend.

Krysten Ritter

Now I'm not aware that the trend had gone away.  In its most recent incarnation I think the trend may go back to girls in the Far East.

Girls from the Far East in the far Far West (Cardiff)

Although in fact it goes all the way back to the Dukes of Hazard in the 1970s.  Apparently seeing Daisy Duke in shorts and bare legs was considered too provocative.  So, she had to wear pantyhose with her shorts creating a whole new male fetish.

It also it depends what we mean by shorts.  Here I'm talking about short shorts rather than knee length shorts.  Knee lengths shorts are cool too.  If nothing else they may provide a stepping stone for the shy on the way to short shorts, its just that this blog post will get long enough just confining itself to short shorts.

Not so short shorts with tights

I know I have blogged something like this before, but in case there is any danger of this fantastic trend dying out, here are 10 reasons for wearing shorts with tights.

(1) Shorts let you show off your legs whilst hiding them.
Very Zen.  "What is the appearance of the leg you cannot see?"  But you know what I mean.  The pasty whiteness of your legs can be hidden under tan tights.

If you have a little more to hide, such as cellulite or having not shaved your legs recently, then you can go for more opaque tights.

BTW I am not making any judgement on this girl's legs.  I am sure they are fantastic.  Often tights with shorts are just a fashion statement 

(2) Tights keep your legs warm.
You can show off your shapely pins without freezing to death.  This means that you can wear shorts in the autumn and winter months and not just in the summer.

Autumnal shorts

To keep the chill breeze off

(3) You can show off more leg with shorts
Sure you can go for a short skirt and tights.

A little too short girls?

Maybe you can get away with it with opaques, but more sheer tights?

With shorts you can show maximum leg in sheer or opaque tights.

(4) Tights with shorts protects your modesty.
No embarrassing "up-skirt" shot to go on facebook no matter how you position yourself.  You can enjoy yourself without worrying what anyone else might see.

See no pants

At a more subtle level, shorts with tights show that you are not an easy lay.  What! Has Joy of Tights suddenly got fundamentalist religion?  No, simple fact of evolution, guys are programmed to take advantage at the slightest encouragement.  3 layers shorts, tights, knickers tells him that he won't get inside all three layers unless you think he is really worth it.

Which girl will he go for? Is the one on the right too willing?

In case you think I'm being unfair to the male sex, I found this comment online

"It doesn't matter as long as I can get into her vagina, mouth, and hopefully anus. That's the answer for every heterosexual male." Yahoo question

(5) You can be cheeky with tights
I'm not contradicting point (4).  You can be cheeky by showing the tops of your tights, even though you are not revealing that much.  Sort of showing your underwear while not showing your underwear.  You can be a bit of a rebel with shorts and tights.

Can you see her tights tops?

(6) Shorts let you show off your tights.
If you have a great pair of tights, why hide them with a below the knee skirt, or even a just above the knee skirt?  I know a lot of tights have a repeated design, but even these look better if you can see the whole length of the tights.

Furthermore, some designs like suspender tights loose their raison d'être (see I can do posh), if you cannot see the whole length of the leg.

This may be the ideal way of showing off your new pair of suspender tights.......

... but this is a tad more practical.

(7) Tights with shorts add variety to your wardrobe.
Now I am not suggesting that you should wear nothing but tights and shorts

Yes, a top with those tights and shorts would help

But they can add yet another dimension to your outfits.  Why stick with just skirts, dresses and long trousers?  Shorts themselves come in any different flavours

Traditional denim cut off

Tight and shiney (not sure...)

Coloured and cut off

Smart casual - as modeled but Sienna Miller

And of course you can multiply the possibilities by matching with all sorts of tights.

From classic black sheers.....

.... to something a bit more patterned.

(8) You can wear shorts and tights in lots of different places

I'm not sure I agree with StyleBirsto that you can wear shorts and tights at work.  But adding tights to shorts does add formality provided the shorts are not cut off.

Jennifer Love-Hewitt looking very business like, but I'm not sure my boss would like it

Smart, but is it smart enough for work?  Probably not, but perhaps OK for a more formal night out with friends

(9) Celebs are into the style.

Besides those seen earlier

Nicole Richie

Miranda Kerr

Zooey Deschanel - a favourite of joy of tights

(10) Everyone else is doing it

Oh no they are not!

I'm not sure this a good reason, but for what its worth, here is a poll from that StyleBistro page.

Observant readers will have noticed that I haven't cited men liking girls in shorts as a reason for wearing shorts with tights because:

• I don't know what men think (who does, do they even?).  Perhaps this is a topic for a poll.
• What men like shouldn't be our main concern.

Does he like her in tights and shorts showing the tops of her tights?  Should she give a shit?

Girl in shorts and tights likes girl in skirt and tights.  Is in mutual?

BTW: Don't expect a long post tomorrow, today and yesterday I am off work waiting for the great Britsh workman.