Suspend disbelief to get the X-factor like Khloe Kardashian

Khloe Kardashian took charge on Friday.  The 28-year-old reality star looked incredibly sexy and powerful as she emerged from a white SUV outside a Los Angeles hotel.  The US X Factor host took the plunge in a cleavage-baring wrap dress, suspender style tights, and black wedge booties.

If you didn't know

Khloé Alexandra Kardashian Odom (born June 27, 1984) is an American socialite, television personality, businesswoman, fashion designer, author, actress and presenter. In 2007, she came to prominence as a cast member on Keeping Up with the Kardashians, an E! reality television series she shares with her family, and would later appear in its spin-off series, Kourtney and Khloé Take Miami and Khloé & Lamar. As of October 2012, Kardashian serves as co-host on the American version of The X Factor along with Mario Lopez. She is married to Lamar Odom. (As in the TV show).

Khloe's thick ombré locks were set in cascading romantic curls and she rocked a daring pink lip.  The brunette socialite has been dressing to the nines for several recent photo shoots to promote her famous family's various television shows, endorsements, and apparel.  (Nice little earner).

Why not get a super-sexy look like Khloe with suspender tights?

If you don't like the classic black suspender tights with black pretend suspender strap why not go for something in red?

Or how about having the suspender made out of little bows or  hearts or something?

Alternatively try these ultra-cool fishnet effect suspender tights.

Tights pretending to be stockings are all the rage.  Why not? Some people think stockings are more sexy and we all agree tights are more practical.  Some tights have the stocking top effect without the suspender.

Shoes to die for

They don't have to be black...

Stocking top effect or just nice leafy design?

You can wear to your suspender tights to take the dog walkies.  (The dog won't mind and may even be pleased that such a cool pair of legs is taking him out).

But the real place where suspender (or other types of stocking look alike) tights score, (or help you score), is in the bedroom.  He won't be able to resist.  This could be expensive as he rips his way in.

Guys, don't look too close, you'll go blind. (Or at least get man gunk on the keyboard)

Your play in stocking tights need not be in bed.  Crawling round the floor in your tights pretending to be stockings (that is the tights are pretending to be stockings, not you pretending to be a pair of stockings), could get him doing it doggy.

In the doggy style sex position, the receiving partner (that's you) is available for a variety of sex acts, with the penetrating partner (that's him) being able to perform anal sex (thanks, but no thanks) or vaginal penetration (oh such a romantic term) from behind, as well as oral sex (eat me, eat me, its about time it was his turn) or anilingus. (sexual stimulation of the anus by the tongue or mouth. aka Gross out time). The active partner (him again) is also able to massage or stimulate the receiving partner's erogenous zones, such as the genitals, nipples, or buttocks, or administer a "playful" spank (oxymoron - go look it up guys) to the buttocks, or introduce a sex toy (if he is a sick fuck), such as a dildo or vibrator, into the vagina or anus. 

After the tights.  Has she passed out with pleasure or is he so bad she has fallen asleep? (HINT most girls prefer you to take the socks off)

But he may like you so much in suspender tights that you are never allowed out of them.

At last realism about tights

Now I am not a natural Guardian reader, more of a Sun woman if you must know, but this caught my eye:

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a woman wearing a skirt or dress at this time of year will need to wear tights. Except, it's not. It's a truth universally acknowledged everywhere except in glossy magazines, on red carpets and in newspaper fashion pages.  (Also, in certain towns in the north of England, but that's a whole other issue.)"

How refreshing it is to hear that tights are needed - unless you want frost bite.

Not even Northern girls are not always without tights - as these Newcastle lasses testify.

 The article goes on

"There is a fundamental disconnect between fashion and the real world when it comes to hosiery. Walk down any urban street in winter, and you will see a forest of black-opaqued legs. But scan any fashion page and you'll see winter clothes styled, more often than not, with bare legs. The shoot might be on location in the Highlands in a rowing boat on an icy lake, the coat might be fur-trimmed and the dress cashmere – but the legs, more often than not, will be bare. Mea culpa: even on a page such as this, which is all about how us norms grapple with fashionable clothes, I often end up being photographed in bare legs when roadtesting winter looks. Bare legs are fashion's shiny prefect badge" 

Her feet must be cold

This supports what Joy of Tights has always thought; the "Fashion Industry" is anti tights.

Now the difficult bit, apparently, how to look stylish in black opaque tights

"As a result, we are in dire need of style guidance in the wearing of black tights. There is a woeful paucity of role models in the important skill of teaming a 60-denier opaque with an interesting outfit. So, when we wear a coloured skirt with black tights, we go for the easy option of a black or neutral top. But it doesn't need to be like that. A simple way to make black tights work is with strong colours: if you team muted pastels with a matt-black leg, it kills the subtlety, but add gleaming jet-black to a jewel-like mix of emerald, sapphire, fuchsia, ruby, well, then it is right at home."

The point goes for matching with opaque tights at any time of year, not just winter.

Strong enough?

Strong enough?

Strong enough?

But surely the LBD is still OK?

BTW: I'm glad to see that the article gives "Stack heel sandals" as part of its sample outfit.  It is about time someone said that sandals and tights are not a fashion crime.

Arrested for a crime against fashion - tights without closed shoes?

A few thoughts from Joy of Tights
Mainly that winter tights don't have to be black opaques.

Why not go strong colour tights with more muted colours rather than the other way round.

Maybe OTT?

If you feel you need the bare leg look, go for nude tights for at least some protection:

See how invisible these tights are?

Or if you need a little more warmth a thicker tan denier that could be mistaken for nude from a distance

Or for a double warmth wammy try opaque leggings and tan tights.

Finally what about winter fishnets - don't the holes trap a layer of air for insulation like a string vest (or something)?

Seams seem to be the thing to be seen in

Girls, getting tired on plain old sheer or opaque tights.

Nice shine to your legs but sometimes you want more

Want something a little more subtle than suspender tights?

Cool, but a little too much sometimes...

Why not try some seamed tights.  Here are seven reasons for wearing seamed tights.
(1) They make you look sexy.
It's that old association with seamed stockings.  I defy any man not to find seams sexy.

Not the traditional seam but still sexy.

(2) They make you look powerful.
Perhaps in is the dominatrix association, or it could be that it is assumed if you have the confidence to wear seams you are a strong woman.

Follow me boys and keep your heads bowed.  (These might be stockings but its the same principle)

 (3) Celebs wear them

It seams the only way is Essex

(4) Seams come in lots of creative designs.
Not just lines down the back of your tights.  We have already seen glittery seams, now check these out.

What a cute little bow

(5) Your girlfriend will like them.
(Only applies to girls with girlfriends.  Guys think carefully before you wear seamed tights)

Guys stick to plain tights it might freak your girlfriend out if she came home and found you in seamed tights

(6) They usually have reinforced toes
(I knew it would be hard to get seven reasons).  I like reinforced toes because they make the tights last longer, and oddly guys who are into tights seem to prefer reinforced toe (future poll?)

(7) Seamed stockings are too much trouble to put on.
All that messing with suspenders and don't even talk about hold ups if you value the blood supply in your legs.

From http://nylongrl-what-i-like.tumblr.com/page/3

Don't buy your girlfriend tights for Valentine's day (10 reasons)

In case you haven't noticed it's February 14th soon.  What you hadn't noticed?  You do surprise me.

Look I know you like tights.  Yes I know you are massively turned on by tights.  But here are 10 reasons why you shouldn't buy your girlfriend tights for Valentine's day.

(1) It makes you look like some kind of pervert.
Yes I know you are.  But do you think she would still want you if she knew?

 I know this turns you on, but is she ready to know this turns you on?

(2) Tights are a girl thing
Girls don't expect guys to know about tights.  It is something we discuss among ourselves - like lipstick.  And no tights don't figure as big with us as they do with you.  Unless, like the present blogger, we have had a lot of exposure to guys with a tights fetish.

Lets keep discussion of tights between ourselves

(3) We decide what we wear
Yes we may wear tights if we think you like them, but it is up to us.

But more often we are wearing to impress our (female) mates.

(4) Buying tights as a present looks cheap
It really looks as if you forgot and picked up a pair from the garage on the way home because all the garage flowers were gone.

All he got me were these shiny tights

It will help a little if they are expensive designer tights, but it is still a little weird.  We might think you only want to see us in suspender tights.

And don't even think about tights with hearts on.  They are cute, but only if we buy them.

(5) We might think you only like us in tights.
Again it's true, but a girl wants to be wanted for herself - not for her tights.

(6) We might think you are only interested in tights
Worse still, buying tights on Valentine's day implies you don't even like girls, just tights.

Please tell me you are more interested in the girl than in what is happening with the tights

(7) Tights are not a traditional Valentine's gift
Tradition is important because it means something.  Tradition is there as the hard fought wisdom of guys about what girls want.

Try a Rose - or at least some kind of red flower

Or any flowers

How about an expensive meal out.  She might even dress up for it!

(8) We'd rather have anything but tights

Like a weekend in Paris.  She is not reading the guide book so you can look at her stocking feet.

Like an expensive mystery gift

Like a cuddly toy

Like a treat for our pets.  Then we know you have at least worked out our pets are important to us

She loves her cat more than you, get over it!

(9) We are intelligent - buying tights on Valentine's day makes you look stupid
We are intelligent.  We read thought provoking novels about human relationships.  We would like you to be clever too. If you have not worked out (1) to (8) above, you are not.

(10) By not buying tights on Valentine's day you may get what you really, really want
(Appeal to naked male self interest).  Just maybe if she thinks you value her, she might have some fun in tights for you.