Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Don't buy your girlfriend tights for Valentine's day (10 reasons)

In case you haven't noticed it's February 14th soon.  What you hadn't noticed?  You do surprise me.

Look I know you like tights.  Yes I know you are massively turned on by tights.  But here are 10 reasons why you shouldn't buy your girlfriend tights for Valentine's day.

(1) It makes you look like some kind of pervert.
Yes I know you are.  But do you think she would still want you if she knew?
 I know this turns you on, but is she ready to know this turns you on?
(2) Tights are a girl thing
Girls don't expect guys to know about tights.  It is something we discuss among ourselves - like lipstick.  And no tights don't figure as big with us as they do with you.  Unless, like the present blogger, we have had a lot of exposure to guys with a tights fetish.
Lets keep discussion of tights between ourselves
(3) We decide what we wear
Yes we may wear tights if we think you like them, but it is up to us.
But more often we are wearing to impress our (female) mates.
(4) Buying tights as a present looks cheap
It really looks as if you forgot and picked up a pair from the garage on the way home because all the garage flowers were gone.
All he got me were these shiny tights
It will help a little if they are expensive designer tights, but it is still a little weird.  We might think you only want to see us in suspender tights.
And don't even think about tights with hearts on.  They are cute, but only if we buy them.
(5) We might think you only like us in tights.
Again it's true, but a girl wants to be wanted for herself - not for her tights.
(6) We might think you are only interested in tights
Worse still, buying tights on Valentine's day implies you don't even like girls, just tights.
Please tell me you are more interested in the girl than in what is happening with the tights
(7) Tights are not a traditional Valentine's gift
Tradition is important because it means something.  Tradition is there as the hard fought wisdom of guys about what girls want.
Try a Rose - or at least some kind of red flower
Or any flowers
How about an expensive meal out.  She might even dress up for it!
(8) We'd rather have anything but tights
Like a weekend in Paris.  She is not reading the guide book so you can look at her stocking feet.
Like an expensive mystery gift
Like a cuddly toy
Like a treat for our pets.  Then we know you have at least worked out our pets are important to us
She loves her cat more than you, get over it!
(9) We are intelligent - buying tights on Valentine's day makes you look stupid
We are intelligent.  We read thought provoking novels about human relationships.  We would like you to be clever too. If you have not worked out (1) to (8) above, you are not.
(10) By not buying tights on Valentine's day you may get what you really, really want
(Appeal to naked male self interest).  Just maybe if she thinks you value her, she might have some fun in tights for you.

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