Do men like laddered tights?

When I was browsing my favourite far-right wing newspaper on-line, (only the femail, celeb and gossip sections - you can have too much about the death of the Blessed Margaret), I came across this piccy:

Getting to work on her newest film, Emma Stone arrived on the Manhattan set of “Birdman” on Wednesday (April 10).  The 24-year-old actress donned jean shorts with ripped up tights and combat boots as she filmed scenes for the brand new flick.

To give you the full gen about her outfit

"The actress' grey T-shirt was riddled with rips and tears surrounding her flat tummy.  The Crazy, Stupid, Love star also wore denim cut-off shorts with the white pocket tongues peeking beneath the frayed hemline - bringing attention to her pixie thin legs (in sheer black holed and laddered tights - but I already said that). The petite actress - who is currently dating Andrew Garfield of Spider-Man fame - donned vintage brown leather boots with various clunky buckles.  Completing her costume was an army green jacket, featuring shoulder lapels and brown buttons."

But to get back to the most interesting part of her outfit - for readers of this blog if not for normal people - her tights.  Raising the question do men like holed and laddered tights?  There have been hints of this from reader's comments.

" Mrs Dreyer works in an office with lots of men who she says are always perving at her legs and feet when she kicks her shoes off (most likely why her tights always end up with runs in them)"  John thinking the men in his wife's office might like his wife's nylon feet best when they are laddered

"I like seeing ladies with holes and ladders in their tights. Perhaps my mind makes an association with them being well-worn and maybe a bit...well, dirty :)" Cal

Does the ladder make these tights (stockings actually I think) more sexy?

Now this liking laddered tights is a new one on me.  The nylon fetish guys in my life have always liked a nice new pair of tights.  Of course they ripped open the crotch at the supposed climax of a night of fun.  This was often the waste of a good pair of tights.  These guys were supposed to have a serious tights fetish, so why couldn't they perform?  Ahhh I know, they only get turned on by the tights, not what is in the tights.

The place many guys want a hole in your tights, but another girl could probably give you more fun through the tights

But all that's an aside, let's get back to why guys might like laddered tights.

(1) Because laddered tights smell
Well I guess tights are more likely to get laddered if you have had them on all day.  And they are more likely to be smelly if you have had them on all day.  And perhaps our sweat does attract men

"Researchers have recently discovered that pheromones play a major role in the lives of humans. The primary female pheromone women unknowingly secrete that attracts men is androstenol. Due to evolution, women only secrete this pheromone when they sweat."

So it looks like our sweaty tights might on turn even normal men on after all.

Her feet got so hot that she had to take her shoes off, will he get enough of those lovely pheromones?

Directly administering pheromones to your male

The only problem with this explanation is that tights usually ladder when you put them on or soon after.  So guys, a lady with laddered tights may have just put them on, and not have had a spare pair

Laddered as soon as she put them on?

(2) Because laddered tights are easier to rip off

Well yes I suppose so.

(3) Because guys thinks girls in laddered tights are sluts

That's right if you have ladders in your tights some guys will think you are a bad girl and are more likely to give them a shag.

Bad girls

Real bad girl, smoking, showing the tops of her tights and with a ladder

But beware guys, those bad girls in laddered tights might just bite you balls off and eat them

So guys do you think laddered tights are sexy?  Try my latest poll.

Ten reasons for tights under shorts.

According to StyleBistro: on the set of a new TV pilot, Krysten Ritter re-introduced the tights-under-shorts trend.

Krysten Ritter

Now I'm not aware that the trend had gone away.  In its most recent incarnation I think the trend may go back to girls in the Far East.

Girls from the Far East in the far Far West (Cardiff)

Although in fact it goes all the way back to the Dukes of Hazard in the 1970s.  Apparently seeing Daisy Duke in shorts and bare legs was considered too provocative.  So, she had to wear pantyhose with her shorts creating a whole new male fetish.

It also it depends what we mean by shorts.  Here I'm talking about short shorts rather than knee length shorts.  Knee lengths shorts are cool too.  If nothing else they may provide a stepping stone for the shy on the way to short shorts, its just that this blog post will get long enough just confining itself to short shorts.

Not so short shorts with tights

I know I have blogged something like this before, but in case there is any danger of this fantastic trend dying out, here are 10 reasons for wearing shorts with tights.

(1) Shorts let you show off your legs whilst hiding them.
Very Zen.  "What is the appearance of the leg you cannot see?"  But you know what I mean.  The pasty whiteness of your legs can be hidden under tan tights.

If you have a little more to hide, such as cellulite or having not shaved your legs recently, then you can go for more opaque tights.

BTW I am not making any judgement on this girl's legs.  I am sure they are fantastic.  Often tights with shorts are just a fashion statement 

(2) Tights keep your legs warm.
You can show off your shapely pins without freezing to death.  This means that you can wear shorts in the autumn and winter months and not just in the summer.

Autumnal shorts

To keep the chill breeze off

(3) You can show off more leg with shorts
Sure you can go for a short skirt and tights.

A little too short girls?

Maybe you can get away with it with opaques, but more sheer tights?

With shorts you can show maximum leg in sheer or opaque tights.

(4) Tights with shorts protects your modesty.
No embarrassing "up-skirt" shot to go on facebook no matter how you position yourself.  You can enjoy yourself without worrying what anyone else might see.

See no pants

At a more subtle level, shorts with tights show that you are not an easy lay.  What! Has Joy of Tights suddenly got fundamentalist religion?  No, simple fact of evolution, guys are programmed to take advantage at the slightest encouragement.  3 layers shorts, tights, knickers tells him that he won't get inside all three layers unless you think he is really worth it.

Which girl will he go for? Is the one on the right too willing?

In case you think I'm being unfair to the male sex, I found this comment online

"It doesn't matter as long as I can get into her vagina, mouth, and hopefully anus. That's the answer for every heterosexual male." Yahoo question

(5) You can be cheeky with tights
I'm not contradicting point (4).  You can be cheeky by showing the tops of your tights, even though you are not revealing that much.  Sort of showing your underwear while not showing your underwear.  You can be a bit of a rebel with shorts and tights.

Can you see her tights tops?

(6) Shorts let you show off your tights.
If you have a great pair of tights, why hide them with a below the knee skirt, or even a just above the knee skirt?  I know a lot of tights have a repeated design, but even these look better if you can see the whole length of the tights.

Furthermore, some designs like suspender tights loose their raison d'être (see I can do posh), if you cannot see the whole length of the leg.

This may be the ideal way of showing off your new pair of suspender tights.......

... but this is a tad more practical.

(7) Tights with shorts add variety to your wardrobe.
Now I am not suggesting that you should wear nothing but tights and shorts

Yes, a top with those tights and shorts would help

But they can add yet another dimension to your outfits.  Why stick with just skirts, dresses and long trousers?  Shorts themselves come in any different flavours

Traditional denim cut off

Tight and shiney (not sure...)

Coloured and cut off

Smart casual - as modeled but Sienna Miller

And of course you can multiply the possibilities by matching with all sorts of tights.

From classic black sheers.....

.... to something a bit more patterned.

(8) You can wear shorts and tights in lots of different places

I'm not sure I agree with StyleBirsto that you can wear shorts and tights at work.  But adding tights to shorts does add formality provided the shorts are not cut off.

Jennifer Love-Hewitt looking very business like, but I'm not sure my boss would like it

Smart, but is it smart enough for work?  Probably not, but perhaps OK for a more formal night out with friends

(9) Celebs are into the style.

Besides those seen earlier

Nicole Richie

Miranda Kerr

Zooey Deschanel - a favourite of joy of tights

(10) Everyone else is doing it

Oh no they are not!

I'm not sure this a good reason, but for what its worth, here is a poll from that StyleBistro page.

Observant readers will have noticed that I haven't cited men liking girls in shorts as a reason for wearing shorts with tights because:

• I don't know what men think (who does, do they even?).  Perhaps this is a topic for a poll.
• What men like shouldn't be our main concern.

Does he like her in tights and shorts showing the tops of her tights?  Should she give a shit?

Girl in shorts and tights likes girl in skirt and tights.  Is in mutual?

BTW: Don't expect a long post tomorrow, today and yesterday I am off work waiting for the great Britsh workman.

Do introverts like tights because they are so shy that they have to look at feet while talking?

In respond to my idea that tights men are all introverts Cal wrote:

"I suspect my interest in feet started because I was often looking down when talking to people (especially girls) and probably noticed feet, shoes and tighted feet more than most boys. But that could also be a load of bollocks."

Well its as good as any other theory Cal.  It could also be bollocks, but then so is most of Psychology - which is what makes it such fun.  (Subjects where all the answers are know are boring).

Well Cal, here are a few pictures to remind you of your times looking at tighted - (like that word) - feet.

Nice shoes

So shy you can't even stand in front of her?

Are you sure you are just looking down at her feet?

She isn't talking to you (or even looking at you), but you can still look down at her feet

Now Cal, I must say that you have the right attitude, women are the superior species and you should be looking down at our feet.  But sometimes you should be down - looking up at us.

No further down.......

Better.