Other ways of keeping warm in tights

(1) Wear two pairs
Great for saving on the heating indoors.  Traps a layer of insulating air between the pairs.

Fishnet over sheer tan 

Two layers to keep warm?  But I don't advise the penis envy, whatever Freud said

(2) Wear very high boots over your tights

(3) Drink alcohol
You know how having a drink makes you feel warm?  Well have a drink.

She's got the man to keep her warm, but she's got the can.

Ahhh, some clever dick - people who think they are clever usually have a dick - will say:

"Alcoholic drink makes  you feel warmer, but it actually lowers your core body temperature.  Alcohol may make your skin feel warm, but this apparent heat wave is deceptive. A nip or two actually causes your blood vessels to dilate, moving warm blood closer to the surface of your skin, making you feel warmer temporarily. At the same time, however, those same veins pumping blood closer to the skin's surface cause you to lose core body heat "

But this is wear the tights come in see, they trap the heat before it escapes.

Feel warmer?

Not convinced?  Well I am, but then again I've had a few.  You might die of hypothermia but you will die happy.

Alcohol may result in errors of judgement.

(4) Rub your tights legs with those of another girl

• Warning this may make any boy scout or pantyhose pervert nearby spontaneously combust.
• Warning may cause nylon burns
• Warning may cause dampness and you may start fancying girls

Rub feet together for warmth.

Sharing girl heat

To start fire rub legs vigorously

(5) Get aroused

Airport security joy for nylon feet lovers

None of us want to incinerated in a fireball because of a mid-air plane bomb.  (Planted I might note in passing, by religious nutters - who says that belief in God is a good thing?)

No one would want Keira Knightley to be burnt to ashes in a plane bomb.  I hear that tights burn well and stick to the skin

So Joy of Tights is pleased that airports take extra care with security

Airport security even requires shoes to be removed and people to stand in their stocking feet.

Now Joy of Tights thinks that making people take their shoes off at airports is a good thing for several reasons:

• It reduces the risk of being burnt up mid-air (obviously)
• It allows feet to cool nicely after they get all hot and smelly in the rush to the airport
• Feet get a rest from lovely, but painful, heels.
• Any guys who like nyloned feet get a little bit of pleasure in the security queue and this probably makes them more patient.  And if a bomb does to get through at least the last memory of their brain before it is incinerated is a nice one.
• Feet loving airport security staff are less likely to get bored and miss something with nice nyloned feet coming through
• Through their actions religious nutters - who hate women looking sexy - have given women another chance to look sexy.  And I think taking shoes off can be sexy even to a man without a foot fetish - after all a small part of a man's brain gets excited when a woman takes anything off hoping more will follow.

Lindsey Lohan

For those of you who might be a little nervous about taking your shoes off in public Demi Lovato (American singer-songwriter, musician, actress, and anti-bullying spokesperson, who is involved in philanthropic activities through charity work and various social and environmental causes) shows how easy it is

Demi arrives at the airport

Loosening the first boot 

One boot off

Second boot off

Demi standing in hers stocking feet

And for all of their fans some more pics of our sexy girls

Demi Lovato shopping - nice shoes - prefer the black myself

Linsey Lohan - also shopping

Keira Knightley - not shopping but....

......in stockings

BTW: Didn't want to mention this before.
Joy of Tights wonders if the need to take shoes off when going through airport security has really been a plus for security staff with a nylon foot fetish.  They must enjoy all those nylon feet, but can they still do their jobs properly or do they keep nipping off for a wank every time they see a nice pair of nyloned feet - leaving those feet vulnerable to incineration in a terrorist outrage?

My little word cloud for this post

Getting Cross

It's ten o'clock on Sunday morning, that means its time for Joy of Tights to be angry about religion.  Subject of today's rant, the European Court of Human Rights judgement on Nadia Eweida.

Nadia Eweida, 60, was sent home from work by BA in 2006 for refusing to hide or take off the cross around her neck. On the 15th January she was awarded 32,000 Euros by court after judges said there had been a violation of Article 9 of the European Convention on Human Rights

Now, from my point of view, you wear what your employee wants you to wear.  If they want you wear tan tights, white socks and tiny shorts as a Hooter's girl, then that's what you wear.

Is Hooter's more popular than the church in the background cannot think why?

If they want you to dress as a bunny girl with black tights and sandals then that's what you do.

If you don't like the dress code, don't winge about it - get another job!  It is sad that the European court did not show the same common sense as the British legal system - its enough to make you euroskeptic.  It is just unfair when most people follow the dress code and a few get away with it more religious (= lifestyle choice) reasons.

Airline employee wears her uniform.  What if she claimed tights and heels were against her religion?

A ‘jubilant’ Ms Eweida, who had lost at a string of hearings in Britain, said her first reaction to the ruling had been to say: ‘Thank you, Jesus.’ 

"Thank you Jesus" for Christian fashion sense

Gay guy in tights

Now it is all very well thanking Jesus, but  her victory came as three other Christians lost claims at the European Court of Human Rights. Nurse Shirley Chaplin, who wanted to wear a cross with her uniform, was told that her bosses were right to remove her from the wards because of the importance of health and safety for NHS patients.  And two Christians who were sacked in gay rights disputes were both properly dismissed, the Strasbourg court ruled.

Gillian Ladele, a registrar with Islington council, had declined to conduct civil partnership ceremonies. Gary McFarlane, a Relate counsellor, had been reluctant to give sex advice to gay couples.

Now I'm sure all gay guys will celebrate this as a victory for common sense.......

Gay guy in tights

Gay guy in tights

Gay guy in tights showing us his equipment

..... but why didn't Jesus give victory to these other people in their court cases.  I would have thought that the issue of homosexuality is more fundamental for fundamentalists than cross wearing.  After all St Paul says

"Romans 1:26-27: "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence [sic] of their error which was meet."

And here for Saint Paul are some guys enjoying their tights and themselves:

Like the boots and sandals boys

 Saint Paul must be turning in his crypt.

Now it is not just Saint Paul, Moses was into gay bashing as well.

Leviticus 18:22: "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination."

Now you will notice that Yahweh is quite liberal - nothing is said about women lezzing it up:

Still another one to upset Yahweh.

I'm surprised this guy wasn't hit by a  thunder bolt and reduced to a pair of smoking socks.  Perhaps he will be now I've brought Yahweh's attention to him

More fundamentally given the Jesus we read in the gospels - rather than the one presented by the fundamentalist church -....

No not Jesus some bloke with long hair and a beard.  Like the socks on the left

......you would expect him to sort out all the pain and suffering in the world rather than give Ms Eweida lots of dosh.

Charity funding raising for hospitals would be unnecessary if Jesus healed everyone

What I'm not saying

(1) That people can't wear crosses - they just have to do it on their own time.

Nice boots

(2) That people can't display crosses in their own homes.  Just not at work

(3) That people cannot display all kinds of religious junk (I mean religious paraphernalia (I mean religious artifacts)) in their own homes.

Hope Mary, Jesus and all the saints are helping you keep fit girls.

A solution
I even have a solution to the wearing religious symbols at work issue.  Get a tattoo

Follow peaches example - but with something a little more religious

Advantages of religious tattoos

• Can be covered up by thick tights, trousers or other clothing if not allowed at work.
• Present no hygiene problems.
• What could be a greater symbol of devotion to a god than having him (or her) tattooed on your body. Religious jewelry is so easy to take off anyone would think you are not convinced your god is the best.  Waiting for another one to come along?

Rather than a swirly pattern, you could have a scripture verse on your leg

Rather than stars why not a discrete cross tattoo that could be hidden by ankle boots when required.

Looks like some Christians may already be using this art form:

A bit home made

Go to a proper artist!

Royal Tour in Tights - a Mini Adventure

Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie are championing all things British on their one-year tour of Germany. The British government is launching the GREAT initiative to promote the country abroad, and the pair were chosen by the team at 10 Downing Street. Today, Beatrice and Eugenie kicked things off in Berlin with a visit to a school and a drive inside a Union Jack-emblazoned Mini Cooper.  (Made by the German firm BMW).

According to the Daily Mail, the princesses arrived in Berlin this morning via an economy flight paid for by their pop, Prince Andrew the Duke of York. Their first stop was the British School, where they hung out with cute kids à la Kate Middleton. Princess Eugenie wore a rather drab cream double-breasted pleated peacoat, while Princess Beatrice looked great in a green and black Jonathan Saunders dress from the designer’s fall 2012 collection, which she paired with a black belt,  (and this is the bit my readers will want to hear), black opaque tights, and heels. Saunders is indeed a Scottish designer, but he shows during London Fashion Week.

The long sleeves kept Beatrice modest, while the deep v-neckline showed off some skin and is definitely not a style you’d expect to be worn to an elementary school. The dress was on sale at Net-A-Porter for $874.50 from $2,915, but it’s now sold out. Womp womp.

And while Bea did better with the dress, and I might add the shoes, at least her sister also managed black opaque tights.

For those of you who don't know Princess Beatrice of York (Beatrice Elizabeth Mary; born 8 August 1988) is the elder daughter of Prince Andrew, Duke of York, and Sarah, Duchess of York. She is fifth, and the first female (at the moment), in the line of succession to the thrones of the sixteen Commonwealth realms.  While studying at Goldsmiths, University of London, Princess Beatrice was not expected to undertake regular Royal duties, although she did make appearances at some Royal events.  Now she has to earn her crust hence being on her one year tour.

Of more interest to readers of this page is that Princes Bea is a wearer of support tights.  At a memorial service for the Queen Mother and Princess Margaret in March 2012, the young royal unwittingly gave us a flash of her support tights, complete with thigh-slimming panels to smooth out her lumps and bumps and help avoid a dreaded VPL.

Princess Beatrice may have surprised a few onlookers because she’s clearly quite a slim girl but the makers of support tights are rejoicing as she is helping to dispel one of those lingerie myths – that shapewear is only designed for the more ample figures.  In fact, shapewear is increasingly popular with women of all shapes and sizes, including those who are already blessed with a slim, size 10 figure.  Why?  Simply because it helps create a perfect silhouette – and it is great for body confidence.  Another plus for tights.


Since we mention Princess Margaret, on a note of morbid royal information,  Princess Margaret was the first royal to be cremated for more than 60 years. The last request of Princess Margaret was for a £280 cremation in Slough, unattended by any members of her family.  The municipal ceremony, which includes a £20 surcharge because she lived outside the borough, took the shadow of the Berkshire town's dog track.  Republicans will celebrate Margaret's humble departure.  On a typical day 15 people are burnt to ashes by Slough crematorium's incinerators -  but on that Friday the Margaret was the sixth and last.  See the advantages of royal - you get to go last.  Why was Margaret cremated? “One last smoke. It’s what she would have wanted.” I wonder if when her time comes, Bea will follow Margaret's example?

Will they be hot stuff in the end like Margaret was?

But enough talk of death and incineration, onto Princess Eugenie.  Let's not neglect Eugene just because her sister beat her in the fashion stakes one time.

Here Eugenie does better - at least in the eyes of tights lovers - with opaques, dress and boots

Princess Eugenie of York (Eugenie Victoria Helena; born 23 March 1990) is the younger daughter of Prince Andrew, Duke of York, and Sarah, Duchess of York. As such she is sixth, and the second female (at the moment), in the line of succession to the thrones of the 16 Commonwealth realms.


And just in case your though Eugenie was a bit of a royal bimbo, she began studying Combined Honours BA at Newcastle University in September 2009, combining Art History, English Literature and Politics. (Was a single subject to hard?). She completed her studies in 2012, earning a 2:1 in English literature and history of art.  A useful subject that then.

Something a little more sheer and a little slimmer