Which Tights for Christmas?

Christmas Eve
Tess Daly  to the Daily Mirror recommends:

"Topshop’s sliver pleated mini skirt, a black roll-neck and Henry Holland Superstar motif tights, of which Jessie J is a big fan"

Now although I'm a fan of Henry Holland tights and even more so of Jessie J, I would recommend something more sober for Christmas Eve.  You don't want to upset the family by being too "tarty", you could another two days with them!  Trendy tights might put you in a party mood and you'll do something you regret - probably involving alcohol.  Better suited to the dread mood of a family Christmas Eve are black opaques.  These are also good if you go to midnight mass - you can look like a proper church goer.  (Of course I hope you are only going to scoff at believers in the Holy Shag - I mean virginal conception, scoff at those drunks who go Church once a year, and scoff most all at those clergy who no longer believe but keep up a sad act).

Opaques have the added advantage that they are robust if you feel the need to slip your heels off, or even get involved in a game of twister.

Now that nude and tan tights may be back, and it looks like it isn't going to be too cold, you might like to try sheer tan tights instead.  Still quite sober but not so heavy.

Don't get cooked in those tights!

If you are lucky enough to be spending Christmas with a partner and want your own divine conception, try a pair of fishnets to give him a nice hard Christmas present.

Christmas Day
Here Tess says:

"Opt for sparkly sequins or a metallic knit – Miss Selfridge has a ­great metallic foil printed jumper.  Wear with leather ­skinnies or shorts and ­spotty tights to get the Christmas look nailed."

I think she is right on with spotty or dotty tights.  They still look smart, but they give you a bit of elegance, show you have made the effort and are a little bit out of the ordinary.  I would keep the shine on the jumper down though.

Shorts, leather, jeans?  No I think Tess is wrong here.  You can be a bit less traditional at Christmas dinner, but better to go for a nice skirt or dress.

Boxing Day
With a mild Christmas this is where you could wear your shorts - perhaps with those dotty tights again - same tights twice a row you slut - for that boxing day walk.  Don't forget the funky boots.

Two Things to Remember
Drink plenty of fluids - its up to you what proportion of them is alcohol

OK guys I know this is your idea of heaven but stop dribbling

Do something outrageous.  Now generally I recommend keeping a low profile at Christmas, especially at a family Christmas.  Its not that I think you shouldn't upset people, but when you do, do it properly.  Don't fall out over what to watch on telly or the length of your skirt.  Do something "outrageous" - like snog another girl.  Perhaps after that game of twister.  Perhaps at the end of the evening.  It might have to be a relative - a sister, cousin or niece - the more  incestuous the better.

And Finally
Since you guys probably got here by Googling "Jessie J or Tess D in tights" - not being after my words of wisdom after all - here they are:....

Ah... if that's what you meant by spots, Tess, they are a little on the large side for me