Recent months have been all sorts of funky new tights - some of which have been highlighted on this blog. There are tights that look like stockings and suspenders, (although I'm sure part of the fascination is that they don't quite - the top of the leg is given a better texture than with real stockings and suspenders), there are patterns galore, and nude tights that are so nude that they don't know you are wearing tights are growing in popularity. (There may be a case of the emperors new tights here - if they can't see them perhaps they are having no effect to improve your legs!).
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| Patterns are cool - but so is just black |
But never satisfied to be a follower of fashion, Joy of Tights would like to recommend some tradition styles - starting with sheer black with reinforced toe. I know that sheer is a bit of a fuzzy term, but generally I mean 10 to 20 denier, possibly up to 30 denier, but not as high as 40.
So here's 10 good things about sheer black tights
1. Black is sexy. Even black opaques have a certain sexiness. But sheers combine the naughty black with a teasing partial revelation of the leg beneath.
2. Black goes with anything. Well OK not anything, but many things. So black tights go with a range of outfits from that LBD to cut off denim shorts.
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| LBD boots and boobs - a winning combination for getting guys |
3. Black goes anywhere party, work, or funeral. You can be sexy in black sheer tights at a Christmas party. You can be serious in black sheer tights at the office. And you can be respectful in black sheer tights at the crematorium as you watch another relative slide away to their incineration wondering when it will be your turn (BTW They don't allow tights inside the furnace because it causes too much pollution)
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| You can even where sheer black tights in the woods |
4. Black is slimming. Do your legs look fat in this? Not if your tights are black, apparently. Not that this works for obese Satan worshipping bitches like me.
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| Do my legs look big in these? |
5. Black sheer tights could be mistaken for stockings. Yes I know they don't have the mock suspender. But
real stockings aren't warn with the suspender showing. If you are in sheer black tights guys can always wonder "Is she really wearing stockings". Going about at a party / office in your stocking feet can re-inforce this impressions as men associated reinforced toes subconsciously with stockings. Of course you may ask "Why not wear real black sheer stockings or hold ups?" Do you want the hassle of suspenders or your leg dropping off because your hold ups have cut off the blood supply?
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| OK some real stockings for all u stocking hounds |
6. Black sheer tights with reinforced toe are more robust. Obviously your is less likely to go through the reinforced material. Its all very well saying that sheer toes are better than sandals, but is there anything less sexy than your unmanicured toe poking out of your tights? I think that ladders are also less of an issue on sheer black tights. They don't ruin the pattern - there isn't one. They can even give you that "slutty little bitch" look.
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| Of fuck my toes gone thru my tights |
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7. Black sheer tights are cheap. Since they are made by everybody, thought of as "everyday" products and not designed by anybody special they cost less. If a pair of £1.00 Tesco sheers get you a shag, why bother with £20.00 Henry Hollands? (Answer for the guys who don't get it. We don't wear suspender tights for you, if you like them and we get a shag its a bonus, but we wear them for us. We're just not that into having you into us). And if the guy is so excited by your sheer black tights that he has to rip them off, it won't cost a bomb to buy a new pair. Get him to buy you a new pair? Yes, but only if he doesn't think he is buying any "services" with them.
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| Never be ashamed of cheap tights |
8. Black sheer tights are warm. Everyone knows that black absorbs heat. Yes I know they loose heat quicker than opaques, but at least your legs warm up when you get by the fire or into the sun. And you might even get a guy to rub your legs warm!
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| Tights add warmth, but u still need a skirt! |
9. You can wear sheer black tights can any age. A granny can like a wise witch or a silver slut in black sheer tights. In middle age you can hide the growing imperfections in black sheer nylon. And the schoolgirl can look serious and scholarly with the black of her tights matching the dark gray of her uniform.
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| Wonder if HE is secretly wearing black tights too |
10. Sheer black tights don't have to match with leg tone. One of the drawbacks of the make your tights invisible fad, is the endless checking that your nude tights exactly match your skin tone. Sheer black aren't supposed to match your leg tone! They are meant to look well black, sophisticated and sexy. Less time spent matching tights more time for a cigi.
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| Do her tghts match her skin colour..... |
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| Girls in black don't give a shit about whether their tighs match their skin tone or a FLYING FUCK about anything else |
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