What to get a girl for Valentine's day

Guys need a way into your girl's heart on Valentine's Day?

Yes guys, I know you are looking for a way into her knickers - but I'm telling you how to get into her heart.

You may think I have left this advice a bit late, but I know that most guys don't think about Valentine's day until now.  In fact many of you will be trying to get gifts on your way to work or on your way home from work tomorrow.

First Suggestion: Flowers

They always go down well. Yes I know

• .... they are a rip off
• ... they don't last

but so what?

And no, flowers from the petrol station won't do

Girls, if you see guys buying flowers at the service station while you are filling your car - you know where to stick the nozzle

Second Suggestion: Jewellery

Good but does require thought - which you guys are not good at.

Not an anklet because you like your women to have the slutty look

Better - but tacky

I like these - so dangly - but jewellery it is very personal so you actually have to know what your girl likes.

Third Suggestion: Tech

What's the most important thing in your girl's life?

• You? Nowhere close
• Shoes? Close second
• Her 'phone? Yes.  How about buying her a matching tablet or other tech? 

Fourth Suggestion: A car
Feeling like splashing the cash, buy the love of your life a little run about.

Now the No Nos

First No No: Tights

We might like tights.  We might know you like us in tights.  But buying us tights - even ones with sweet hearts on - is weird.

Second No No: Drink
We like alcohol. But if you just buy us booze - we will just think you are trying to get us pissed.

Is that all he got you; that lousy bottle?

Third No No: A Tattoo
Unless you are sure she really wants one

Fourth No No: An exotic pet

Not everyone likes flesh eating giant worms

So what are you buying him on-line for Valentine's day?

Socks - excellent

Girls need a valentine?

She's got the card -top right - but will the man take her out?

Need a romantic Valentine's day evening? Or at least a Valentine's night shag? I recommend wearing black tights to get your man.

Not that all men have a tights fetish - thank gods - but many do seem to have their temperature raised by a flash of black nylon.  Who knows why?

• Perhaps black is thought to be sexy.  It is also associated with death - discuss with reference to Freud's life and death instincts.
• Maybe black tights remind guys of stockings with all their sexy associations.

Famous stockings

Almost stockings - hold ups

Stocking and tights - trying too hard? Doesn't seem to be making her happy.  Maybe not white knickers with all that black,

• Could be that black tights make your legs look longer - good for leg men

Nice heart for Valentine's day

• Could be some of them like the feel of sheer nylon

Skirt off, just hope he doesn't want you to keep the boots and tights on

Whatever the explanation black tights do it for at least some men, here is the photographic evidence

His trousers and pants appear to be falling down....

... and her skirt has ridden up

Notes

• For extra effect try fishnets

• Be aware that taking your shoes off as well as wearing tights may attract men with somewhat limited interests

At least one man appears interested in her not just her feet.

• May work for girls too

Joy of opaque (or slightly sheer) tights with kinky boots

In nice cold New York, Gisele Bundchen showcased her famously long and slender legs in a pair of slightly sheer black tights (actually I'd say they were opaque), which it seems she wore under a very short skirt or dress.

Gisele wore the hosiery tucked into a pair of black suede slouchy knee-high boots with a distinctly kinky feel.  As she stands at an Amazonian 5ft 11in, the 33-year-old doesn’t need a boost so the shoes were flat and therefore easy to roam around the city in.

For those of you who don't know the difference - here are opaque and sheer tights

Opaque on the rights.  Gisle's are very much closer to the opaque, even if they are slightly sheer.

Why not follow Gisele's example with a pair of sexy, but warm, black opaque (or slightly sheer) tights?

Slightly sheer or opaque

More slightly sheer or opaque

Opaque, but her footwear is not as hot as Gisele's

Even better than the tights - go for kinky boots too - but go one up on Gisele and get a pair with a nice heal.

Like the metal work and the spiky heel

Its tiring work wearing high boots and yellow tights

You couldn't make it up: men, tights and sex.

Warning: this post has some very naughty content

Too late you have been corrupted - you might as well read the rest of the post now!

Now, some of us girls know that we have to wear tights to have any chance of any fun.  We live with tights fetish men.  They can't get in up (have a stiffy, get a hard-on, go erect etc) without us wearing tights.  They may (or may not) be wonderful supportive, caring guys but it this way they are a pain in the arse.

However, there are even guys out there who need to wear tights themselves before they get a hard on!

And here is the strangest case yet

"My new boyfriend loves to wear nylon tights. A while ago he got these weird tights that have a little extension on the front that fits around his penis when he is erect. I think it looks stupid, but he loves wearing them so I don’t make any fuss over it."

(Yes it looks really stupid)

What like this?

No like these

They really do exist - I found them on the Web

But on with our story

"I mean, it’s harmless and if it makes him happy that’s okay with me. Anyway, a few days ago he made love to me while he was wearing these tights, so basically his penis was wrapped in nylon when we made love. Although we used a lube I got sore and a couple of days later I got a nasty rash that will not go away."

You would think most men would have the decently to pull the tights down or rip them open to their cocks out

This story was posted to Dr Angela for health advice and ended

"I’m sure it’s from the nylon tights, maybe some kind of allergic reaction?"

So what does Dr Angela say?

"It might be an allergic reaction, or it might be friction burn. However, more than likely it’s some kind of infection – tights are an ideal breeding ground for bacteria – so you should really go for a check-up."

A warning there for all of us that we should limit our day to day tights wearing.  (Sorry [not] guys)

Think in the morning - will these tights be good for my health? (Especially if you are not wearing knickers with them!)

So let's see Mr Angela's advice

"If your boyfriend insists on wearing his penis tights during sex the odd time, ask him to wear a condom – he needs to be careful, though, as this could leave him extremely sore – or use a female condom and lots of lubricant."

Here is Dr Nicky's advice (Only a doctor in the sense of Dr Gillian Mckeith).

Stick to giving a blow job - but less fun

Beat the fetish out of him

Find another man who only wants you to wear the tights

An interesting comment was left to this little tale of woe.

"I had a boyfriend that started off by just wearing nylons to bed. It started that simple but expanded into wearing them under his jeans when we whent (sic) out. After a while he would steal my panties and pantyhose. It got so bad that I didn't know if my panties were even clean or if I had a pair of pantyhose that didn't have holes in them. I had to finally ditch him when I caught him laying on my bed pleasuring himself in my pantyhose."

Thanks for sharing than Rosario.

Oh dear not even under jeans

Tights - just for GIRLS