Sunday, 3 March 2013

Cross Fashion

Crosses have always been a popular item of jewelry.  Increasingly worn for fashion rather than religious reasons.
Cross, nice tights, even nicer shoes
Look carefully - he is wearing a cross too.
Cross cuff-link, very nice tights, very, very nice shoes
However, Joy of Tights has noticed crosses appearing on other items of fashion.
Like skirts - good to see those crosses upside down,....
... and of course tights.
Like the shoes.
Now as a card carrying, bible burning, pornography posting, skepticism promoting Satanist I think this is a good thing.  Why? You might ask.  Shouldn't I want to see the sign of the cross erased from the Earth?
She has her cross the right way up.
Well while praying that Satan might cause all crosses to spontaneously combust, I am pleased the see the cross trivialized as a mere fashion symbol.
Can you take a religious symbol seriously when it is suck to a girl's arse?
But why, other than Satanist hatred, do I object to the sign of the cross so much?  Well I think hatred is its own justification.
Cross tights
But there is a case for objecting to the symbol of the cross on the basis of the Christian theory (doctrine) it stands for.  Here are the bones of the theory:
  • God wants to forgive human beings (traditionally it was only men of course).  [This to most people does not sound unreasonable.  Personally if a man sins against you I say "Squash his balls", but I may be morally defective. So lets assume this first point is reasonable].
  • God cannot forgive because someone must be punished.  [Now it starts to get contradictory.  If God wants punishment he cannot really want to forgive].
  • So God picks on Jesus to take the punishment.  [This is weird.  Sarah wants to forgive Alison, so she kicks the crap out of Ken, and then is able to forgive Alison   Doesn't seem fair on poor old Ken who was just minding his own business.  I ignore the point that Ken is a man so deserves to have the crap kicked out of him, if it makes the argument easier to understand substitute Natalie for Ken]
You think Jesus was a good bloke, so why did God torture him?
  • BUT.... is OK since Jesus is no ordinary bloke but God Himself.  [Is the Almighty some kind of masochist who would enjoy bondage games?]
If God were a woman, which the Christian novel "The Shack" suggests he is, would he enjoy bondage?
  •  God actually doesn't want to forgive everyone.  Despite having gone to all this trouble.  Here is the Scriptural evidence: "And for this reason God will send upon them a deluding influence so that they might believe what is false," (2 Thess. 2:11) or "just as it is written, 'God gave them a spirit of stupor, eyes to see not and ears to hear not, down to this very day,'" (Romans. 11:8).
I didn't make it up sisters - it is all in the good book.
Girls, if you are damned anyway, you might as well have fun together.
It might not be so bad if this "cross-centric" doctrine didn't have such negative effects.
  • It makes Christian's thrust it down the throats of the rest of us
Just think how much extra time you would have if you didn't need to pray for the salvation of the world?
  • It upsets sensitive Christians themselves.  Now it takes a lot for me to be sympathetic to Christians.  But just imagine the poor Christian tortured day and night with the thought that their family and friends are going to hell.
Christians if you didn't think your friends were going to hell [....BTW isn't Lucifer a sexy beast...]...
.... you could enjoy your singsongs much more

  • Although I can see no logical link, Christians who go on about the cross or also homophobic and intolerant.  
No kissing please girls.
So how does fashion trivialize the cross?

(1) By reducing the cross to just one more pattern on a pair of tights or leggings.
This is no different to ....
...this.....
... or this?
(2a) By allowing greater possibilities for the desecration of the symbol. 
It may be annoying to get a ladder on a night out....
....but would a ladder it these be sacrilege?
Then there is disposing of your tights.  Like the people that wear them, tights wear out and are only fit for burying or incineration.  Should a holy symbol be buried in a hole in the ground with other decaying crap or vaporized in an incinerator?  Personally I like the thought of burning crosses.

(2b) Now the second way your fashion may desecrate the holy symbol is a little more..... rude.  Let's say you are wearing a pair of sexy tights with a cross motif.
Well you start having some fun with your boyfriend.  You start stimulating him.  Because he has no self control (as they often haven't), he grunts with pleasure, and before you know it, the cross motif on your tights is covered in man gunk.  RESULT.
Step away from the cross

Saturday, 2 March 2013

Asian girls in tights.

See I knew that would get all you pantyhose perverts looking and generate a few more Google hits.  This little post is in response to a little comment on my tumblr blog
"I found your blog and now check it out every morning, love the daily updates. i also love that it is writen by a woman (allegedly) which is much more of a tease than knowing it is some pervy guy like myself just putting up pictures, I didn't really have any request or question, just to say keep up the good work :) oh ok , maybe more asian girls ?"
 "is writen [spelling mistake - bad boy] by a woman (allegedly)"  Well I've got to come clean, I'm a fat fifty year old male lorry driver with greasy hair and write the blog every morning in my cab before starting the day off with a fried breakfast.

No, only yanking your chain.  All of that is false.  Well apart from the part about being 50.  And the part about being a cuddly shape (with BMI to match).  Oh, and I am partial to a (vege) fry up.  I was a woman last time I looked.  I'm not a lorry driver either.  I can't drive and failed my test 10 times.  (Or is this a double bluff, treble bluff or infinite regress of bluffs......)

Not me, I'm not allowed behind the wheel, but a pic to keep your interest
Well the "Asian girls" (note capital "A") comment got me thinking, why do Western guys like Asian girls?  (Aren't we good enough for you?).  So here I present some material I found, followed by my own weird ideas.  Yes, there will be pictures of Asian girls in tights, but you have to be good boys and read the sociology first.

Four types of men who like Asian girls:

1. “Mr. Asiaphile” – The man with “Asian Fever”, also known as “Yellow Fever”, often related with the word “Asian fetish”. He claims he loves Asian culture and so he loves Asian women. But he dates them because they are sexual objects more than individual people. He treats them unfairly based on the stereotype he has about Asian women.
What does any man really love?
2. “Mr. Knowledge” – He falls in love with the Asian culture before he falls in love with Asian women. He knows more about Tao Te Ching or I Ching than his (Asian) girlfriend. He loves her because she has the Asian qualities he admires, not because of where she comes from.  He could fall in love with a girl Brummie girl with these qualities.
Embodiment of cultural values
3. “Mr. Curious” – The Asian girl seems mystic to him because of her exotic appearance. He doesn’t know anything about Asian culture because he has never met or related with any Asian, been to Asia, or read any texts of Asian literature (or read anything at all in fact).
It's all about appearance
4. “Mr. Greedy” – who wants it all. He needs his woman to be independent and financially stable. He also wants her to keep her mouth shut and do all the house work. She should know how to satisfy him with the way “Asian women are supposed to be”. He expects her to be to be 100% faithful to him by sacrificing all her personal life while keeping an open mind about him being socially active with other women.
Mr Greedy will want to chain his Asian girl psychologically if not physically (see the picture is a metaphor).  Actually he will probably want literal bondage too.
None the above is original, being plagiarized off the web, but it seems reasonable.  Now I want to add a few reasons why nylon loving men in particular like Asian girls.

1. Asian women are thought to wear tights more often.  I found this on Yahoo
"I often see out and about that Asian women tend to wear pantyhose/nylons/opaques a lot more often than women of other ethnicities. Personally I think its good, but I was wondering it there was some additional cultural component to that as well, the importance to be completely 'put together' clothingwise or the increased importance on appearance or looking the part or just dressing more stylish in the first place. There may be something to that for it also seems that the more assimilated Asian women seem to wear nylons far less often then foreign Asian women, yet more often than US women of other backgrounds. Not trying to sound like a statistician here, just a common pattern I have noticed. Anyone think they can bring some insight into this?"
 Some the respondents to the poster agreed with him
"They wear pantyhose because they know it really does make the outfit.There is nothing more trailer trash than to see some Hollywood starlet spend 50,000 on a dress,several hundred dollars on their hair,a couple of thousand on shoes only to go Suma *** Tacky by prancing about in 2.00 looking legs.Hosiery completes the look.Just because you don't want to wear hosiery doesn't make it right.Women have been wearing hosiery for decades.Why?Because it make their legs look terrific.These Asian women know how to look their best.In America,the sloppier the better.Just look around.Nuff said."

So all you girls in the US of A you know what to wear
American girl actually in tights - Ariana Grande
Another respondent says:
"I think is just makes the outift look put together and professional when Asian women wear pantyhoses with their already professional outfits. And another thing is that it makes their legs look more tanned for Asian women with light skin because we believe in naturally tanning, but not that much and we don't like tanning beds either because we know that they damage our skins majorly. This insight is coming from a fellow Asian woman"
A more professional look?
Tights for tanned legs?
 And one final post from this Yahoo Q&A
"Just like the "Ji.." answerer said, we just want tanner legs. As far as dressing professionally, I'm not so sure that plays a predominant role because I don't think that Asians aim for the professional look; if anything, Asians go for more of a "cutesy" style...
Cute in pink?
 "But if your looking for a more cultural implication, as an Asian myself, the answer comes easily. Asian cultures, as you may know, are far, far more reserved than the American culture. There are so many impropreities in Asian culture than aren't real considerations in American society today. As a result of these highly conservative opinions, I suppose that many more Asian women feel more comfortable in things that cover exposed skin as much as necessary."
Modest
Interestingly there is a theory that the tights with shorts trend started in Asia.  Perhaps this was a way of being naughty (showing lots of leg with short shorts) whilst being modest (covering up that lots of leg with nylon).

2. Asian women are thought to wear higher heels.  Here is what one guy says:
"Women in Japan wear amazing heels. They are very devoted to femininity and comfortable with it."
And there is even heel envy
"I actually want to rob some Asian girls heels, they are sooo cute, i just want to snatch them off her feet everytime she comes to my office"
Keep an eye on those heels, someone might pinch them

3. Guys think Asian girls show their feet more.  Like this:
"It becomes a distraction how Asian girls tease people with their beautiful feet.I'm sitting in class and one Asian girl sitting to my left kept dangling her well pedicured toes in and out of her shoes.Another one who sits on my right kept wiggling her toes in and out of her flip flops.They caught me staring at their pretty feet,they looked at each other and started to make fun of me.They did an Asian invasion on me.After classes,they came to me and asked if i liked their feet,i was so shocked i responded"i guess so ,i don't know" They took me to their car (in the parking lot)and made me lck their feet.I returned to my other class smelling like sweaty feet.Now i'm afraid they might make me worship their Asian feet all the time.How do i tell them i don't want to get humiliated like that any more? I'm kind of scared of those two bullies,i mean we have talked several times before,but i did not know they were that pushy.I think they saw me looking at their feet before and they wanted to teach me a lesson.They even spoke in their Japanese language before they took me to the parking lot to make me clean their feet."
Is she teasing you, or are her feet just hot
Now I'm not sure if that guy was for real.  Doesn't somehow fit with Asian modesty.  But perhaps feet have been considered more sexy in parts of Asia that in the West (hence foot binding), so perhaps Asian girls are flirting with their shoes off.
Flirting or just comfortable?
Guy knows how to respect his girl
BTW: Have you noticed how I have, with the rest of the nylon fetish community, interpreted Asian as East Asian?
Well time to get back in my lorry and head down the M1
  

Friday, 1 March 2013

These tights are armed (if not dangerous)

Ever felt like taking a gun into the office.  Just to scare the shit out of that accounts bitch?
Well don't! Even if it is just your toy from cosplay.  The great British Bobby (evenin all - mind how you go), lacks a sense of humour, and you are liable to end up with a bullet in the brain.

But if you do need to be tooled up in tights try these:
With the body of the gun and barrel on one leg and the handle on the other, Joy of Tights is sure there are some who would call them 'controversial' and 'shocing', but Joy of Tights thinks they look kinda cool.

So lets see them on:


OK, and how do they fit into the whole outfit?

And where can you get them?  Sadly they are out of production.  But fear not there were heaps of the tights on sale on eBay, some starting from as little as £2.
Sponsored by Apple like everything else
So who wears these tights? Ellie Goulding - (English singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist) - has impressive fashion sense. Keeping things largely casual, she selects quirky and individual pieces to style up a low-key look, like these tights.
Just to show Ellie's choice of these tights is not a one off:
So get these tights while stocks last, but wear others in a situation where laddering is likely!
I couldn't help myself, I just had a add a naughty picture.  But you wouldn't want your machine gun tights to go like this?