You pantyhose perverts are weirdos

What missing from this list?

1.  Youth (13.5 per cent)
2. Gay (4.7 per cent)
3. MILFs (4.3 per cent)    
4. Breasts (4 per cent)
5. Cheating wives (3.4 per cent)
6. Vaginas (2.8 per cent)
7. Penises (2.4 per cent)
8. (Blocked out )
9. Butts (0.9 per cent)
10. Cheerleaders (0.1 per cent)

Doh!  No idea?
Here's a little pictorial clue:

  No, is not play ground equipment.  Let's try another one.

No, its not youth either.  In fact that was number 1 with 13.5%.  It just shows inside every man beats the heart of a paedo. So lets try another one:

No, its not feet either.  But you are getting warmer (don't start on gynophagia).  I see where you are cumming from (or maybe on to).  Try this one:

Yes, that's right pantyhose.  Do you have a brain cell?  Never mind.  The above is the list of the top sex related searches according to latest, largest Internet sex survey by by Ogi Ogas, Ph.D., and Sai Gaddam, Ph.D.  So you see guys pantyhose must be somewhere under Chreerleaders at 0.1%.  You really are a weirdo.  Out of 1000 men there is probably only one pantyhose pervert and that's you.  Even the too awful to be printed perversion (what could it be gynophagia?) has more followers that yours.

Now don't get me wrong I think tights and pantyhose are a great fashion item, although not as great as shoes.  Many normal guys think they make girls legs look better too.  It could be the way they highlight the leg shape, the way they tease by hiding and revealing, that little bit of shine, the way pantyhose remind them of stockings or even the silky texture.

Normal guy who likes a girl in tights

 The rare weirdos who are pantyhose perverts have one or more of the following characteristics:

1. Sex is difficult, probably impossible, if their partner is not in tights.  Do you really want to put a pair on every time your guy wants a shag?
2. The tights are more important than the girl.  A granny in pantyhose is better than a cute 17 year old with bare legs.
3. The tights are the only thing that is important.  He starts dressing up in tights and that's the only way he gets off.  (Girls, watch out for missing tights from the laundry baskets, a drop in sex drive and his eyes furtively moving to the tights section of the department store.)

If he doesn't admit this girl is cute he may already be a pantyhose pervert

 When I describe pantyhose perverts as weirdos you may argue that I shouldn't encourage them in this blog.  After all they may enjoy this entry - especially if it has pictures like this:

Pantyhose perverts dream?

Well its fun teasing pervs.  You could say its wrong but I offer this little syllogism in my defense:

• God is dead (Nietzsche)
• when God is dead everything is permitted (Dostoyevsky)
• therefore teasing pantyhose perverts and making their fueling their addiction is permitted.

Still I can just hear all you pervs out there saying "this can't be right, there are 1000s of pantyhose sites on the web.... I chat with fellow pantyhose perverts every day about my favorite brand of hose"  Look at it this way - these guys are PhDs so what they say must be true.  (No, irony is a bit difficult, don't worry about it).  There may appear to be a lot of pantyhose sites but they are a small proportion of all the perversion on the net.  OK, listen to how these guys did their research:

"We analyzed a billion web searches, a million Web sites, a million erotic stories, a half-million erotic videos, millions of personal ads, millions of online dating responses, millions of paid subscriptions to adult sites, tens of thousands of comments on erotic sites, tens of thousands of digitized romance novels, and much more."

Who's monitoring your searching?

 The small print.....
Sai Gaddam actually said about the list above quoted by most of the media:
“The list was misquoted from our book. BUTTS is actually the 21st most popular search, and CHEERLEADE­RS are the 79th most popular search. What she describes as "Blocked out in the book" was actually an intentiona­l whitespace break used to indicate that there was a nonconsecu­tive jump in the ranking--f­rom #7 to #21.” (comment to the Huffington Post)   Amateurs, mature, and animation are actually next in that order.  Hey it weakens my case but you are still a Weirdo

Weirdo  = "A strange, odd, eccentric person; An insane, possibly dangerous person"