It's (the) Saturdays

The Saturdays are a girl group formed in London, UK in 2007. It consists of five members, which are Frankie Sandford, Vanessa White, Una Healy, Mollie King and Rochelle Wiseman. They made their recording debut in 2008 for the record label Fascination Records. They have released 3 albums, and scored 8 UK Top Ten singles, with only 9 singles released. As of September 2010, the band have sold close to 2.5million records.

The Saturday's have also appeared on tele.   In late 2008, the group made an appearance in an episode of Hollyoaks Later,the late-night spin-off of teen soap Hollyoaks.  The Saturdays were given their own reality TV show, by ITV2, which aired on 26 August 2010, titled The Saturdays: 24/7

The Saturdays took part in paranormal television programme based on investigating paranormal activity, Ghosthunting with... Yvette Fielding, the host of the show, took the band to three different haunted locations in Wales. The Saturdays accompany Yvette for the scariest night of their lives. The girls visit three locations, all nestled within the Welsh mountains; the clock tower, the manor and the kitchen block.   During the time in the first location, Rochelle Wiseman said she felt someone touch her leg and someone blowing onto her neck.

The second ghostly hot spot is the eerie clock tower. The tower is rumoured to be haunted by a restless spirit of a suicide victim and anyone who enters is confronted by his hostile presence. The second location, Vanessa White was touched on the back.

Nice to see the Other World is still reaching into ours.  The Spirits obviously don't loose their sex drive since they still felt like fondling Ms Wiseman and Ms White.  Perhaps if the Saturdays did a show for the Spirits in their Boots and Tights, these tormented shades could slip into oblivion with smiles on the ectoplasmic remains of their faces.

It is is true that The Saturday's don't always perform in tights, but when they do they show just how sexy tights can be. And the girls have done their bit for the tights cause.  Whether it was Frankie Sandford showing off her toned figure in a daring outfit of sheer shirt, leather hotpants and printed suspender-style tights in 2009.  Or Rochelle's two toned tights which all her female (and maybe male, I don't know) fans were trying to buy.  So I though they ought to have an entry on my little tights blog.

Saturdays on You Tube

Finally another pic for the guys....
Frankie again.  It will get you running for the Kleenex

Keep your tights on until may is gone

Just as I say its time to get those tights off and worship the Sun Goddess, it goes a little chiller.  So keep those opaque tights on to stay warm. 

In fact I may rephrase the old proverb "Ne'er cast a clout till May be out" to  "Keep your tights on until May is gone".  Now of those of you scholars who like literary pursuits might like to know.....  Since at least the early 15th century 'clout' has been used variously to mean 'a blow to the head', 'a clod of earth or (clotted) cream' or 'a fragment of cloth, or clothing'. It is the last of these that is meant in 'cast a clout'. 

Now I hope you are taking notes on my little lesson in old English ... there ... will be a test later

 To continue..  The 'till May be out' part is more difficult. On the face of it this means 'until the month of May is ended'. However, the Hawthorne tree (bush) blooms  in late April/early May. It is known as the May Tree and the blossom itself is called May. Using that allusion [good word - not it down], 'till May is out' could mean, 'until the hawthorn is out [in bloom]'.

Yeah Whatever ....

Back to fashion....
. 
Keep your shorts short, its not that cold

Socks over tights are going a bit far though.  And those Uggs - ugg!

And short shorts mean all those pantyhose perverts will be happy since you may see a flash of tights top.  Go on girls tease those pervs with what they'll never have.

Those of us who wish to worship the Sun Goddess will keep to go to her temples and lay on her altars and let her rays kiss our skin.  (But take your tights and boots off first!)

At least 10 reasons to dance in your stocking feet

One It is more comfortable.  Heels look good, but can be murder on the dance floor.  Even flats start to pinch.

Would she be less miserable if she look her shoes off?

Two.  It is cooler.  Your feet can get so hot and pongy as you strut your sexy stuff.

Just cooling those feet off girls?

Three It is safer.  You don't twist your ankle falling over in your heels.  And (if you care) you won't stab others feet with your heels.  Course you have to watch out for those gawky pantyhose loving perverts who dance close to you just to oggle your nyloned toes and then step on your feet.

Bastard.  You stood on my feet and you are perving my legs

Four.  More freedom of movement.  Look how this girl slips her shoes off once she gets going

Five.  It is more natural.  When our ancient sisters danced to attract the men with the best sperm they did it in their bare feet.  It's our stocking feet that will get us the men with the biggest cocks.

Taking their shoes off is a natural as showing guys their tits.

Six.  Many professional dancers often work in their bare feet.  If they don't try to dance in heels why should you? Look at how well  Michelle dances in her opaque tights.

Seven.  Dancing in your stocking feet lets you show off your feet.  Guys like feet.  It was concluded in a recent survey that the most common fetishes are for body parts or for objects usually associated with body parts (33% and 30% respectively). Among those people preferring body parts, feet and toes were preferred by the greatest number, with 47% of those sampled preferring them. Do the Math and 16% of guys have a foot fetish.  I think feet are greatly under-rated.  Early men must (unconsciously)  have looked for partners with good feet so their offspring could run from predators and run after game.  Of course wearing tights will show your feet in the best possible light.

With all these feet a foot loving perv will be staring all night, and then wanking himself silly for the next week

Eight.  Tights are so much more slidy.  Shiney nylon tights let you slide around the dance floor in a way you just can't in bare feet.

...but don't slide off the furniture.

Nine.  Dancing in your tights feet gets you attention..  You will stand out from the crowd in your stocking feet.  Partly because you will be dancing better.  Partly because guys will see your lovely feet.  And partly because you will look as though you are enjoying yourself unlike those clattering round the dance floor in  heels. Of course if everyone got your shoes off you wouldn't be so obvious - but many people can't let go enough to get their shoes off.  And even if there are more bare foot dancers your shiny tights will still make you stand out.

Spot the stocking feet

Ten.  Tights keep your feet clean.  A small advantage over bare feet

Eleven.  In your stocking feet you will be more relaxed and less inhibited.  Just look at these Russian girls.  Although I feel a little vodka may have been involved.

Twelve.  Stocking feet give the opportunity for a bit of foot teasing when dancing close up.  If you like him let your toes work up is leg and his cock will soon be ready for action.

....go on start stroking his socks with your tights feet...

Thirteen.  We can all dance round our shoes once we slip them off.  Ah maybe not...

I know many of these advantages of tights feet also apply to dancing in your bare feet or even in your socks.  But legs and feet look so much better in tights.  And with that sexy look comes the added confidence to have a real good time.

Let yourselves go in your tights

Who moved the stone?

This is time of year when Christian's produce the following argument about Jesus' body:

1. The disciples could not have removed the body, because it would have been psychologically impossible to proclaim the resurrection.
2. The Jewish authorities could not have removed the body, because they would have produced it to disprove the resurrection.
3. The Roman authorities could not have removed the body, because they would have produced it to disprove the resurrection.
4. Grave robbers would not removed to body because it was of no value to them.
5. QED Jesus body was gone because God raised him from the dead.

Jesus' cremation
But I would like to propose an alternative.  Jesus' enemies removed his body and cremated him - hence the body could not be produced.  Why would they want to destroy Jesus I hear your ask?  They had already had him killed.  (Well come on the ask!)  I offer two reasons.

1. If you hate  someone enough you want to rub them out totally.  Leave nothing left of them.  This is why the Nazi's cremated the bodies of Jews, Gays and Gypsies in an industrial scale incineration.  They hated these people so much they wanted to leave no trace of them.  Recently I enjoyed attending the cremation service for a complete cow I knew.  I felt a tingle of pleasure at the thought she would soon me nothing but hot gases streaming out of the crematorium chimney.  Burn you bitch burn .... down ... down ... down ... to a pile of bones and ground up to a couple of pounds of ash scattered and washed away.  [Sorry, got carried away there, where was I?]
2. Oh yes reason 2, the Jewish desire to burn heretics.  We read in the book of Joshua chapter 7 verses 24 and 25 "[24] And Joshua, and all Israel with him, took Achan the son of Zerah, and the silver, and the garment, and the wedge of gold, and his sons, and his daughters, and his oxen, and his asses, and his sheep, and his tent, and all that he had: and they brought them unto the valley of Achor.   [25] And Joshua said, Why hast thou troubled us? the LORD shall trouble thee this day. And all Israel stoned him with stones, and burned them with fire, after they had stoned them with stones.".  If poor old Achan had to be stoned and burnt up for a bit of theft how much so the man that claimed to be God?   If you think this is an isolated example consider Leviticus 21:9 "And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire."  Oh yes girls if you are not obeying daddy and having a bit of fun, they'd soon have the fire lapping your tits.

While I considered the theory that Jesus' body was burned by those who were appalled by his claims is a possible solution to his fate, I believe there is a better one.

Cremation by Satan
Sisters, I submit that our LORD Satan, had both the justification and means to incinerate Jesus and indeed he did so to his eternal glory.

1. Justification.  Jesus has slandered Satan by making up the ridiculous story of the temptation.  (As told in Matthew's gospel chapter 4).  Why would the LORD Satan need to make the offer of a Kingdom to an odd job man with delusions of grandeur?  Furthermore, Jesus openly challenged Satan.  (Not something, Sisters, you want to do).  We read in Saint Luke Chapter 10:17-19 "[17] And the seventy returned again with joy, saying, Lord, even the devils are subject unto us through thy name.  [18] And he said unto them, I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven.
   [19] Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you."  Well said can I say?  The only demons Christians have power over are psychosomatic illnesses.  Satan is very much not fallen.  And I would encourage all Christians to try out a good bit of scorpion stamping.
2. Means.  Christians make a lot of the guards at the tomb and the big stone.  They say these were obstacles to removing Jesus' body.  Well a little rock would be no problem for Satan to move.  "[2] And, behold, there was a great earthquake: for the angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it.[3] His countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow:  [4] And for fear of him the keepers did shake, and became as dead men."  (Matthew Chapter 24)  This was no angel of the Lord, but Satan himself.

No angels - just Satan

After all Christians themselves admit that Satan was responsible for Jesus's death.  If he had not been betrayed he would not have been crucified.  And who caused his betrayal?  The LORD Satan.  "[3] Then entered Satan into Judas surnamed Iscariot, being of the number of the twelve.[4] And he went his way, and communed with the chief priests and captains, how he might betray him unto them." (Luke 24:3-4).  Satan was finishing his work of destruction when he burnt Jesus up.

And all this means?
Don't go to Church on Sundays.

Listen to Slipnot instead.  Slipknot's denial of Satanism sounds like an affirmation

"No we don't worship Satan! It's not a gimmick either - I think it is the relation towards the band. When we say like "555" or "666" it's like like a higher number and it's more on the darkside. We want people to think as we shock. At the same time we we're being fucking lumped in with nu-metal and we're nothing like that shit"  (Interview with concertlivewire.com)

Hell I think these boys have got a real good attitude, Satanist or not

"Livewire: If Slipknot fans are, as you call them, "maggots" - then what do you call people that hate your music?

Joey: Man, good question. All I can say is they're outside the nine. They don't understand - that's all I could tell them. We're here to piss off just as many people as we are to please. As long as we have fucking people hate us - I'm a happy guy! "

Time to get your tights off?

Summer has come early!   And the thermometer is already blowing its load of mercury.   If temperatures top 25C as predicted, it will be the hottest Easter in the UK since records began a century ago.  The ‘barbecue Easter’ follows an extraordinary month of warm, sunny weather in England and Wales which has put this April on course to be the warmest on record.  Yesterday temperatures soared to a scorching 26.5 C  at Heathrow, West London, yesterday – the hottest this year, making it toastier than the Costa Brava.  And the early signs are that the sunshine will continue into next week.

What better way to worship the Sun Goddess than to get your tights off?  Celebs have been doing just that.  Kate Bosworth was showing off her bare pins.  A few days ago Beyoncé debuted her spring self in Paris in short dress and no tights.  OK! reported that Gwyneth Paltrow had ditched the tights and opted for bare legs.  Some celebs were even bare legging it before the real hot weather hit.

Gwyneth always looks good in tights but now she is going without

The Sun Goddess commands you

What if you want to keep wearing your tights in this heat?  Then I'm afraid the Sun Goddess is going to punish you.  Hot and itchy legs may be the least of your worries.  Nylon is not an absorbent material. As a result, perspiration from the your feet will be trapped in your tights, leading to discomfort and really pongy feet.  Pantyhose also trap bacteria and fungi  in your lady area, so the Sun Goddess will punish you for wearing tights when she wants to kiss your bear legs by heating up your bush to make those little buggers multiply and give you thrush.  She is punishing you with an itchy clit, a sore clit, pain pissing, pain when shagging and a thick white cream cheesy discharge.  All because you wouldn't take your tights off for Her.

 Have these Essex girls already been worshiping in the temple of the Sun Goddess?

Mind the Sun Goddess doesn't eat your skin in her temple

Why wear tights in summer?
Why would you want to defy the Sun Goddess and wear tights in the summer?

• You work in an air conditioned office and want to keep warm at work
• You don't trust the British weather not to go cold and piss down on you.
• You are a wimp and hate shaving your legs so wear black opaques to hide the hairs

Boots razor in the bag?  What lies beneath the tights?

• You want to hide those little imperfections in your legs

 

Little imperfection here

• Tights "make" the outfit you want to wear.
• Your legs are pasty white and you want to get a bit more of a tan at home before revealing them in public.
• To protect your legs.  Skin cancer is one of the Sun Goddess' less desirable gifts.  But her nimble ultra violet fingers fingers may reach through the nylon fibers of your tights and tickle your skin cells into reproducing like there is no tomorrow.  (Which there may not be for you). You can get a tan through pantyhose and She may even send you some extra powerful rays because you have kept your tights on.

Tempting the Son Goddess

Hints for wearing tights in summer

• Go for lower denier.  Not opaques
• Avoid black tights as they catch the heat.
• Don't wear with shorts.  Sure shorts and tights are real sexy, but in high summer you just asking for your lady to overheat.

Black opaques and shorts - not good

• Wear sandals to let the air circulate in your tights feet.

Beer can also be cooling if your tights are overheating

• Wear short skirts to maximise air circulation you know where

Shorts or skirt?

•  Wear tights with a cotton gusset
• Don't be afraid to slip your shoes off if your feet are getting too hot

Nice tattoo

• Think about going commando - do you need tights and knickers in the heat?
• Put on a clean pair of tights every day.
• Wear white to keep your general body temperature down by reflecting the sun.  

White good - leggings over tights maybe not so good

•  Try fishnets to circulate the air around your legs.

 And don't forget
When the Sun Goddess has gone in you can still put your tights on to party

Easter Bunnies

The season of easter has got me thinking of Bunnies.  Not the little furry ones that are tasty when skinned and cooked, but the original Playboy Bunnies.  (Who also might be tasty when cooked, but I don't know if anyone has every tried).

A tasty selection of rabbit?

Bunny Brilliant
The first Playboy club opened in Chicago in 1960.  Part of the brilliance of the Bunny costume is the part played by tights in it.  Hefner could have dressed his women in stockings (more traditional) or even in bare legs.  But what he realised - consciously or subconsciously - was that most men find nyloned legs a turn on.  They may not admit it, but that length of nylon encased leg does its magic work.  It is a fact many girls miss to, regarding tights as nothing more than an "accessory".  The Bunnies featured black fishnets with high heels, but as Hooters showed in a later generation tan tights with trainers can be as effective.

Brit Bunnies
Soon a UK Playboy club opened at 45 Park Lane, London

Carry on Bunny

Exploited Bunnies?
Of course there are always those that will claim Bunnies were exploited.  Nevertheless there was no shortage of potential Bunnies - ranging from debutantes to working girls from Dagenham.   Furthermore, the club offered wages of £35 a week - big money in the mid-1960s, when added to tips - and a chance to meet the stars.  And of course being a Bunny was a counter-cultural statement, a chance to rebel against the remnants Victorian xian "morals" that survived into the 1950s.

Much is made of the fact that the weight of Bunnies was monitored with an industrial weighing machine.  Were the girls just objects?  Of course they were.  They were lumps of well packaged meat which Playboy punters paid the Playboy empire good money to oggle.  But before you get all moral, that is the nature of capitalism.  We are all machines.  We have no souls.   The girl in a call centre is no less exploited than the Bunny.  Her performance (calls her hour etc) is measured and managed, but she doesn't have the fun of a Bunny.

Exploited?

The end of the Bunny?
In the sixties Playboy swung, in the seventies it sunk.  Guys were no longer content with the image of sex, they now wanted the sex itself.  So discos and singles bars thrived instead of the Playboy Clubs.  And if you were so sad that you couldn't get sex with a real girl there was always the porno movies.

Not raunchy enough?

There were attempts to resurrect the Bunny.  In 1999 the Playboy Casino on Rhodes opened and closed almost within the same calendar month.
The Bunny meme lives on
The Bunny club is dead, as by now are some the original Bunnies - reduced to heating for your local swimming pool.  But the Bunny look is still sexy, it has imprinted itself in our brains and even today girls wear it too turn guys on

Of course the Bunny outfit has been subverted, it is not the same outfit as the uniform registered with the United States Patent and Trademark Office in the 60s.  Like all good memes the Bunny look has evolved to survive.

Bunny punk?

And every year a new generation of girls finds the joy of tights in the Bunny look.  Dressing as Bunny is almost a right of passage.