British Theme

Since today is St George's day thought I post some British themed pics.  Yes I KNOW saint George is the patron saint of England not the UK, but the Union Jack has a big fucking RED CROSS on it OK?

Patriotic bedroom

YES, I know they are stockings not tights

Fit Brit

Any guys find ladder tights really sexy?

If so vote in my poll now you only have 16 hours!  (Probably less by the time you read this)

He doesn't mind?

But,will he push her in the pool for laddering her tights?

Will a ladder even stop your foot fetish? (No, footjob please they are laddered!)

So you always prefer the one without the hole?  (Don't go there with any other interpretation)

So if you think laddered tights are as sexy as cold custard, leave me a comment saying why.

Poor Pantyhose Pussy

Hot on the tail of dogs in pantyhose comes cats in pantyhose.  Found recently.

Now I don't think that this cat is actually wearing pantyhose.  They have been more pulled on its bottom half like some nylon sleeping bag.  There is no way that cat would walk in pantyhose or even have them pulled over its legs.  Cats are not as stupid as dogs.

But just in case remember

You wear the pantyhose not the cat.

The same goes for thicker tights as well as for sheer pantyhose - you wear them not the cat

And don't even think of puss in Boots or puss in Heels

Can you imagine a big cat in pantyhose?  Don't put your little pussy in hose either.

Of course there are some kinds of pussy that can go in pantyhose.

And some of my male readers prefer them that way.

Results for shorts survey

Well it appears that guys like shorts with tights.  In my survey:

• 60% of guys thought tights and shorts were the best look ever
• 35% of guys thought tights are shorts were good, but not as good as tights with a skirt or dress.

Interestingly no-one preferred shorts with bare legs.  Although 5% thought tights and shorts was a shit look.

But before you rush to get into shorts and tights to attract the guy of your dreams.  I doubt that visitors to my blog are not an unbiased sample.  Guys coming to this page will have a "thing" for tights, and may even have come searching for "tights and shorts"

In any case shorts may prove a health hazard.  Health sites warn that "thrush" can be caused by

• Tights
• Tight trousers
• Lycra

Wearing shorts and tights you have the perfect combination to ferment whose little fungi.

Are yeast infections covered to Hooters Health Insurance? (What health insurance?)

If you think the gods might have fated you for a yeast infection, there are some things you can do

• Wear cotton knickers
• Wear tights with a cotton gusset
• Avoid Lycra shorts
• Wear shorts that are a little looser.

But if you can't wear shorts, remember lots of guys prefer skirts or dresses.

Do men like laddered tights?

When I was browsing my favourite far-right wing newspaper on-line, (only the femail, celeb and gossip sections - you can have too much about the death of the Blessed Margaret), I came across this piccy:

Getting to work on her newest film, Emma Stone arrived on the Manhattan set of “Birdman” on Wednesday (April 10).  The 24-year-old actress donned jean shorts with ripped up tights and combat boots as she filmed scenes for the brand new flick.

To give you the full gen about her outfit

"The actress' grey T-shirt was riddled with rips and tears surrounding her flat tummy.  The Crazy, Stupid, Love star also wore denim cut-off shorts with the white pocket tongues peeking beneath the frayed hemline - bringing attention to her pixie thin legs (in sheer black holed and laddered tights - but I already said that). The petite actress - who is currently dating Andrew Garfield of Spider-Man fame - donned vintage brown leather boots with various clunky buckles.  Completing her costume was an army green jacket, featuring shoulder lapels and brown buttons."

But to get back to the most interesting part of her outfit - for readers of this blog if not for normal people - her tights.  Raising the question do men like holed and laddered tights?  There have been hints of this from reader's comments.

" Mrs Dreyer works in an office with lots of men who she says are always perving at her legs and feet when she kicks her shoes off (most likely why her tights always end up with runs in them)"  John thinking the men in his wife's office might like his wife's nylon feet best when they are laddered

"I like seeing ladies with holes and ladders in their tights. Perhaps my mind makes an association with them being well-worn and maybe a bit...well, dirty :)" Cal

Does the ladder make these tights (stockings actually I think) more sexy?

Now this liking laddered tights is a new one on me.  The nylon fetish guys in my life have always liked a nice new pair of tights.  Of course they ripped open the crotch at the supposed climax of a night of fun.  This was often the waste of a good pair of tights.  These guys were supposed to have a serious tights fetish, so why couldn't they perform?  Ahhh I know, they only get turned on by the tights, not what is in the tights.

The place many guys want a hole in your tights, but another girl could probably give you more fun through the tights

But all that's an aside, let's get back to why guys might like laddered tights.

(1) Because laddered tights smell
Well I guess tights are more likely to get laddered if you have had them on all day.  And they are more likely to be smelly if you have had them on all day.  And perhaps our sweat does attract men

"Researchers have recently discovered that pheromones play a major role in the lives of humans. The primary female pheromone women unknowingly secrete that attracts men is androstenol. Due to evolution, women only secrete this pheromone when they sweat."

So it looks like our sweaty tights might on turn even normal men on after all.

Her feet got so hot that she had to take her shoes off, will he get enough of those lovely pheromones?

Directly administering pheromones to your male

The only problem with this explanation is that tights usually ladder when you put them on or soon after.  So guys, a lady with laddered tights may have just put them on, and not have had a spare pair

Laddered as soon as she put them on?

(2) Because laddered tights are easier to rip off

Well yes I suppose so.

(3) Because guys thinks girls in laddered tights are sluts

That's right if you have ladders in your tights some guys will think you are a bad girl and are more likely to give them a shag.

Bad girls

Real bad girl, smoking, showing the tops of her tights and with a ladder

But beware guys, those bad girls in laddered tights might just bite you balls off and eat them

So guys do you think laddered tights are sexy?  Try my latest poll.

Guys don't forget give your partner in nylon joy

Love getting feedback from you guys.  Recently Anonymous posted this as tumblr feedback

"which might lead to fun for him and hopefully you.<<< that picture is exactly how it all started !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The picture my correspondent is referring to is a lady rubbing her nyloned foot against a guy's trousers which clearly contain a hard cock.

Well Anonymous, may I call your Anonymous, or do you prefer Anon?  Anyway Anonymous I'm glad to see that the use of a girl's nylon covered foot can still turn a man into a raving tights fetishist.  But have you re-payed girls in tights for this honour?  Here are two suggestions.

Worshipping her feet is a good start.  It can be quite relaxing and sets the right tone for the relationship.

Let your tongue get busy with her pussy.  First through her tights, then rip her tights open and get tasting.  As this post of going out before the 9pm watershed, I post a moderate image.

When he gets the technique right, she'll take the shorts off

If I haven't responded to your comments yet, I will get round to it, so keep the feedback coming.  (And keep cumming back).

Not me, but I quite often read your posts like this.  (To be honest I also read them wearing my XXXL jeans and with bare feet - sorry if they spoils the fantasy)

Last chance to vote on shorts and tights

Guys my poll on whether you like girls in shorts and tights is closing soon.  So vote now.

Do you like shorts with tights?

Do you prefer skirts or dresses with tights?

Do you think shorts should be accompanied by bare legs?

One pasty legs, one fake tan?

Look I know you prefer girls without a skirt or shorts, but that wasn't the question.

Girls why don't you post what your man thinks on tights and shorts? (After all you probably know better than him).

Eat your - ... errr brown custard stuff - in a minute.  Tell us if he likes tights and shorts.  (Suspect he likes skirts and opaques somehow)

A whole new meaning to dogging in pantyhose

Joy of Tights has posted some sick stuff.  Today is the sickest ever.  You would be advised to look away now.

Recently, dog owners in China having been posting pictures of their pups wearing tights on the popular social media site Weibo and joking how sexy their canines look in the getups.

What can I say except that humans look much better in pantyhose with bows on?

Ahhh you say its just a bit of fun.

• BUT no one asked the dogs.
• BUT its probably uncomfortable for the dogs
• BUT dogs aren't human and shouldn't be dressed up
• BUT dogs aren't play things; they are conscious beings in their own right. 

Some pet owners have gone even further with this - adding heels

I say heels are for humans.

And even we take them off if they hurt too much

Well at least no one tried to put their dog in a pair of these

And human depravity being what it is - (don't get me wrong I'm usually all in favour of depravity, but this could go too far) - some perv could start fancying dogs in hose.  That is not nice for the dog.

Dog in tan tights BAD

Girls in tan tights GOOD

Repeat after me
Dogs in tan tights BAD
Girls in tan tights GOOD

and again

Dogs in tan tights BAD
Girls in tan tights GOOD

One more image to help with the message.

I couldn't put it better than this quote I found on line:

"Just try to imagine the complex confluence of emotions raging through the poor pups' coconut sized brains as their owner squeezes their hindquarters into strangling nylon and looms over them with a camera. They must be suffering from a churning mixture of absolute love and adoration (because dogs are stupid and love you no matter what) and shame and horror and perhaps vague, inchoate dreams of murderous revolution."

I'm not really sure animals should even be kept as pets, but I guess dogs have been bred to be with humans

So for the hard of thinking here is the message with pictures to help

You wear the tights not the dog.

That's it, you in the tights not the dog

Not sure about the little scarf, is it really to match the shoes?  But at least the scarf is to keep the dog warm, not as an Internet photo op

The great irony is that Chinese girls look great in tights.  So girls, if you fancy putting your dog in tights and putting it's photo on the Internet, why not put on some tights and post your own photo?  You will generate a lot more happiness.  And guys, (I suspect it isn't guys doing this but just in case), please ask your girlfriend to wear tights rather than your dog.

Hope these Chinese don't find their way onto a canine

Locking up is too good for people who make their pets wear tights

And finally
You might think all this fuss about doggy hose is OTT.  But this is just the tip of the iceberg of how we treat non-human animals.  We eat them, we experiment on them.  How would you like to be victim of an alien vivisectionist?

"Debee came the to warehouse expecting to do an adult photo-shoot.  She didn't realize that the photographs who be preceded by dissection"