The return of frumpy flats?

I read in the paper today as I was relaxing over lunch with my (2" heel) boots off and my tan tights feet on the desk, that flat shoes are back.

"Peacocks, the bargain basement fashion chain, has announced that, for the first time, sales of flats have outstripped heels by three to one.  Since the start of 2011, sales of flat shoes have soared by 70  per cent (compared with January 2010) at ­Peacocks’ stores nationwide and online." (Daily Mail)

Flat, flat, flat.  But at least the sandals have some style

 What a disaster.  Heels are just so much more stylish, you can do so much more art with heels or platforms.  What can you do with a flat shoe?  A bit of a pattern, a bow, a strap.  I have a pair of flat gladiator sandals which I quite like, but my platformed gladiator sandals I love.

Those sandals look so much better with a heel

That's without mentioning the sheer sexiness of heels.  Tits forward, bum out guys love it.

Then there is the power of heels, that extra height they give you to let you look the customer or the boss in the eye.  The confidence that comes from looking good in heels.

Try dominating in flats

I know the health arguments about heels.  Which is why I say regularly slip your heels off and walk about in your stocking feet.  Anyway comfort isn't just a function of height.  Poorly designed flats can be just as uncomfortable.  And if you are used to heels, you'll find flats hell.  Debbie Stallard suffers pain in flat shoes that she was let off community service for motoring offenses - good trick if you can pull it off.

Ahhh slip those heels off

So if you must wear flats?  At least wear some nice tights to make your legs more interesting.  Sandals are probably the least boring of the flats.  There is more scope for cool design in sandals, and you can show off your nyloned feet.  But not very practical in winter - better stick to heels then.

At least the spotty, dotty tights are cool

Are they flats I see in the grass?  You look better in your stocking feet!

Skinny jeans vs tights

As far as I can see, skinny jeans have three drawbacks:

• They don't show the shape of the leg well - all those denim folds

Jeans couldn't show the wonderful shape of her legs - Cool boots too

• Even if you can get your skinny jeans smooth, they just don't look so feminine.  They look like well jeans.  Jeans - cowboy - macho.  Not a sexy look.  And skinny jeans that are so tight and thin they look like opaque tights.  Well better to have the nice silky look of real opaques.

Bet she wouldn't have got a snog in trousers.  Socks under tights Hummmm

 They are a nuisance to get into your boots.  You need boots too big or have to fight with them.

Would they get their jeans in those boots?

OK, I know they are warmer.  Here are some ways of getting warmth without the skinny jeans.

• Go for thicker tights.  60, 80 ,100 denier.  Even woolly tights show off the shape of the leg better.  Although they don't give that smooth look.  Although with the other advice you may be able to wear something a little more sheer.

Not bad - wool and silk.  But IMHO you can't beat nylon and Lycra

• Wear shorts, or better longer shorts to keep the tops of your legs warm.  Even a mid-calf skirt is good  -its the layer of trapped air insulation.

Knee length shorts can provide warmth and a flash of leg!

• Wear boots top keep your lower legs warm.  You could even go for long socks inside the boots.  I'm not a great fan of socks with boots.  But peeping over the top of boots they can look cool - sort of casual but in deliberate way.  And if you have to take your boots off, socks with tights can give an kind of schoolgirl sexiness.

Boots socks and errr tights tops

Another reason for stocking (not bare) feet

They keep your feet clean, just take your tights off and slip them in the wash.

Step in something yucky?  Just slip your tights off.  A spare pair is advisable at this point.  And all that stinkiness is absorbed by the nylon.  Just change your tights.  No need for us lazy sluts to shower.

Mind the spilled drink, or did one of the guys have to a pee

I'm a Lesbian - should I wear pantyhose?

Dear Nicky.  I never feel dressed for the evening unless I put on a skirt and tights.  But I feel am betraying my Lesbian principles.    Can you help? Love Bekka

Yes you should wear tights!  And here are the reasons.

1.  Pantyhose make you feel really feminine.  Here's how one blogger describes it:

"....those first few seconds when I'm pulling them on. For those few seconds, I feel more like a woman than almost any other time. It's one of the most feminine, timeless things you can do, really."

2. Pantyhose are a great fashion accessory.  They can make a old outfit look new.  They can draw attention to you legs by highlighting their shape whilst hiding any little imperfections.  And of course they are warm or is that hot?

What finishes off a LBD?  Black tights

3. Guys will love you in tights and so will your girlfriend. You will able to be a bigger prick tease in tights.  A nice pair of shorts and black tights and the guys will be salivating, but you'll know they have no chance.  For an extra prick tease try lezzing it up with another girl in tights.  It drives guys wild.  If your girlfriend likes you in the fem look she'll love tights too.  The tights will highlight your femininity and turn her on.

That guy is going to be wanking himself senseless about you two!

4. Fancy a bit of fanny rubbing with a straight girl?  Tights can help you here too.  She'll start thinking you are as straight as her in your skirt, heels and tights.  Then you can start working your magic.  Accidental nylon footsie when you are both in stocking feet.  Touching her legs as you admire her new tights.  The drunken snog when your nyloned legs rub together.  That cosy girly chat when you get her to experiment.

"I feel you are such a good friend..."

5. Try a bit of nylon sex.  Both you and your girlfriend are in nothing but tights.  Run your fingers gently, teasingly over her nyloned clit.  Kiss her through the nylon.  Knead her mound through the nylon.  Let your fingers slip down inside her tights, rub her bush and then start working into that lush damp interior.

Or you go wild.  Rip her tights open with your teeth and then eat her all up.  Yum yum.  I'm straight and my knickers are already wet.

Go for it - rip her tights off

6. You won't go to hell if you wear pantyhose when having sex with a woman.  As Sex in christ my favorite xian sex site says

"The one passage that is frequently cited as condemning female homosexuality is found in Romans 1:26-27: "For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions: for their women exchanged the natural use for that which is against nature. And in the same way also the men abandoned the natural use of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts…” The idea of women going “against nature” is typically interpreted to mean women lusting after women. However, we believe that what Paul is referring to when he speaks of women “going against nature” is not female homosexuality per se, but rather the reversal of sexual roles that goes against the natural order established by God.

.....there are many women who engage in lesbian or bisexual activity who nevertheless maintain a traditional feminine role and demeanor (i.e., “lipstick” lesbians). Since there is no specific prohibition against lesbian sex, as long as these women remain within the boundaries of the female role prescribed by Scripture"

There you go as long as you are feminine about it, god won't send you to hell.  And what could be more feminine that a nice short skirt and pair of black tights?

Don't tell the minister!

 

Today's sermon

Today's sermon sisters is from Saint Paul's epistle to the Corinthians.  We read:

21 And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.

22 Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary:

 23 And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.

So sisters what part of the body is, today, thought of as less honorable?  Saint Paul gives us the answer: "the feet". Sisters how can we "bestow more abundant honour" on our humble feet?

Honour thy feet

• Dress our feet with the same care as the rest of the body.  Buy nice shoes - lots and lots of shoes.  But not just shoes.  We must wear tights and pantyhose that show our feet - and indeed our whole legs - to best effect.

Whatever else you can't afford.  Buy shoes

•  Show off our feet.  We should not be ashamed of them.  We must wear open shoes.  We must walk about in our stocking feet.  We must show men that our feet are every bit as sexy as our legs and tits.  Sisters when you go from this place give your man a stocking foot job.  Put him under your feet and make him worship them for the mind numbing, spurting, squirting explosion they have produced in his cock.

Show off those feet

He'd appreciate a foot job

• Teach our daughters to value their feet.  Buy them strappy sandals.  Make them wear tights and walk around in their stocking feet.  When they are old enough, teach them how to give the perfect teasing stocking foot job. 

Start the day in socking feet

 And finally sisters we end with a prayer:

O mighty Lord Satan,
God of this world,
God of my flesh,
God of my mind,
God of my innermost Will!

Every part of this world is within Your power.
You are within every part of this world.
Every part of me is within Your power.
You are within every part of me.

I am Yours, whether I serve You willingly or not,
for I am myself, whether I am true to myself or not.

Of my own free will, I now acknowledge Your power.
Of my own free will, I now present myself to You.

 
Ave Satani

Come on bady light my ... tights

Found the video below of a real jerk, who seems to be trying to warn these girls of the dangers of pantyhose on a plane.  Apparently they melt to your body.  What is this guy on.  Is it a chat up line?  Does he get turned on by the thought of nylon melting on a girls legs?

Well I tried it - tights do melt and burn.  OMG I nearly suffocated in my flat - had to open all the windows to let the smell out.  Well that's another reason why I'll get cancer.  Here is a video of some burning tights - not mine I was too busy choking to record it.  This guy also doesn't have the sense to do it outside and gets thrown out of a pub / hotel?  But the tights do make a pretty fire.

And another one, this one did have the sense to do it outside.

Here's a bit of the chemistry of tights burning found on a blog by Dave.

"Incomplete burning (actually, melting) of thermoplastic nylon, the material used to make the fibers in sheer hosiery, leads to production of small but extremely toxic quantities of cyanide gas. Lycra (which is a form of polyurethane) that makes pantyhose more stretchy also produces similar results when melted. That's because both contain carbon and nitrogen (e.g. nylon = repeats of hexamethyl diamine + adipic acid), as well as hydrogen. Under conditions of high heat, nitrile groups can form and if fused with a proton, you get hydrogen cyanide. So heat + sheer hose = nasty coating of melted thermoplastic and toxic gas covering the wearer's unfortunate skin (and if dramatic enough, leading to the victim's untimely demise). Once skin and nylon become fused, it's like permanent pantyhose. (And they thought permanent makeup was a bad idea)"

You can imagine the scene in some disaster movie:

 "Air crew Amber Benson and Claire Dart remove their heels as they usher passengers to the emergency shoot as the flames spread from the front of the plane and the temperature rises.  Amber's blue regulation pantyhose are sticking to her in the heat of the cabin and sweat is forming on her brow.  But she ushers the frightened passengers towards the shoot telling the business women in their smart suites to kick of their shoes and make their way in their stocking feet.

Can't hide from the fire

Amber looks over at one of the business women who has taken her shoes off and is making her way in her tan tights feet.  It looks as though the toes of the tights have ignited.  Amber realises that they have.  The flames race up the woman's nylon clad legs, igniting her clothes and then her hair.  The air is filled with screams and the smell sharp smell of burning synthetics and the smell of burning flesh.  Amber thinks of roast pork, she always liked roast pork.  The woman's skin bubbles, blisters and blackens.  Her arms and legs fold in the heat.  There is a further burst of heat as the woman's fat ignites, and her charred skeleton crumbles to the floor.

 Amber's eyes meet Claires'  They both have had the realisation that if pantyhose spontaneously conbust in this heat one of them will be next.  To Amber's relief it is Claire that ignites first.  Amber had always been envious of Claire's big natural tits.  Amber has implants.  She is pleased to see how Claire's tits blaze like volcanoes.

Dangerous clothing?

Amber knows she has minutes maybe only seconds before she goes up to.  she pulls her skirt down and off. Her hand goes down inside her tights and knickers.  First her hand rubs her bush and then slips inside her clit.  She is surprised how moist she is.  Perhaps she enjoyed seeing Claire go up in smoke.  As her fingers work their magic she sees her the thicker blue nylon around her toes is starting to melt. 

A goo is forming on her toes.  Then it starts to burn.  The flames creep up her legs as her fingers tease and please.  As her blouse, long red hair - which has now fallen down from its neat bun - burst in flame she sheiks in a mixture of pain and orgasmic pleasure.  As Amber's skeleton collapses the two sacks that were her implants ooze on the cabin floor. 

Those passengers who did not spontaneously combust in their tights or other synthetics have now escaped.  The heat goes up and up.  The inside of the plane has now become a cremator.  Amber's bones dry out, the organic material in them burns and they crack and fragment.  These fragments will be washed away by the high pressure hoses now on the plane and all that will remain of Amber is melted silicon gloop attached to a piece of wreckage."

OK back to reality.  Maybe your tights won't combust in the plane. But friction on a plane escape shoot could melt your tights.  Here's a bit from an air travel safety (paranoia) site:

"Polyesters and other man-made fibers melt. Do not wear pantyhose. In the event of an evacuation in which you must jump onto an escape slide, pantyhose could melt and burn you. Do not wear high heels. They could damage floors on the aircraft and rip older escape slides, making them useless."

Shoes off.  Tights off as well?

This speculation is all very well, but has anyone actually been burnt by their tights?  Well five minutes googling reveals this from Justine Edmeades

"My worst injury was having my nylon pantyhose catch on fire about 20 years ago at a nightclub. funny thing is that is was called the Firehouse at the time."

 So girls being hot in your tights clubbing might give you more than you expect.  Nylons and long hair - a fire risk?

Who will burn best when the club catches fire

Don't be caught in your stocking feet if the bar burns down.  Are those nylon knickers flammable?

Another two reasons to wear tights

This blog has concentrated on the fasts that tights can be stylish and sexy.  Now here are two more down to earth reasons.

• With opaque tights or slightly thicker denier black sheer tights, you don't need to shave your legs so often.

•  Those of us, of a certain age, can make use of control top tights to make our tummy appear more trim than it really is.

And what have you been shaving girls?

Tights at work?

The days of having to wear tights or sheer tights (pantyhose) for work are long gone - in most jobs - except maybe certain sales positions:

Pick a card guys

So why wear tights to work?
Maybe it was part of 60s, 70s or even 80s to wear tights at work, but not in naughties surely.  Still there are good reasons for wearing tights at work even if you don't wear them in your spare time.

• Comfort.  Tights keep you warm in summer.  Who needs to be warm in summer?  Anyone in a office with modern air con!  They obviously keep you warm in winter.  And they keep you warm on the way to the office or if you nip out to see a client or do a job.  Of course match your tights to the season.  60 or 80 den opaque in the depths or winter, and 10 or 7 denier in summer to protect from a over-zealous air con or the vagaries of the British weather.

• Tights are more business like.  Bare legs or leggings suggest leisure ware.  They say "I'm not really here as a professional, but to arse about and still expect someone to pay me"

Clearly a working girl

Gemma selling on TV - you only trust her because she is smart with heels and tights

•  Tights are more feminine.  Now let me explain before all the feminists shoot me.  You want to succeed in business as a woman using female strategies of consultation, consensus and even listening to people, not as a woman pretending to be a man.  I do believe that trouser suits encourage male like behaviour.  Men will treat you better if you look feminine.  No, this does not mean you have a adopt a submissive role, but it is something you can use to your advantage.

• Tights allow you to show off your legs.  If are to be taken seriously you don't want to look like the office slut.  On the other hand if you look a bit sexy guys will treat you better, agree with you more and do things for you.  (Basically the guy's sub-conscious is running a program to get you into bed and unknown to him its modifying his actions).  More crudely a nice pair of legs may gets a guy thinking with his cock (or more correctly that reptilian part of his brain that controls his dick), and this will disrupt his more rational thinking and give you an advantage in a argument.

I think she just sold her legs

• Finally tights show an attention to detail.  You bothered to get your outfit right - down to the accessories, therefore you have a eye for detail.  Of course this does not apply if your tights are old and saggy, laddered or a complete mis-match for the rest of your outfit.  Or indeed if the rest of your clothes are a mess!

Got the details right girls?

Now the alleged downside of wearing tights to work.

These girls work hard in their tights

• Tights are not suitable for many jobs.  No, tights are not suitable for some jobs.  Working on a farm or a building site is best not done in tights and heels.  But in this age of retail / services / media / IT most of us work in an office or shop environment.  Airline stewardesses have a difficult and physically demanding job, but they provide an excellent service in tights.

• Guys will keep looking up skirt.  If you are wearing opaques or sheers with a boxer brief then they won't see a lot even if they get a peek.  Besides while a guys brain is up your skirt (so to speak), you have an advantage because its not on the business in hand.  (Although he is probably going to get on with "some business in hand" at home).

Nothing showing here

OK, some rules for tights at work

• They can be opaque or sheer (pantyhose).  Opaque are warmer and harder wearing.  They may be good if you want to distract - but not too much - with that little skirt.   Sheers are more sexy - but still in a restrained way.  I wouldn't go for patterned (leisure wear) or fishnets (a little too much on the office slut side, but they can work if you the rest of your outfit is right). 

They'll never give you the job in those!  OK the guys might....

• Tights should be black, tan or navy.  Wear traditional colours showing that you are here to walk - even if they think they can get you to be a bit naughty.

Traditional work tights

• Choose reinforced toes for robustness.  When you have to kick off your heels because they hurt or you need to get things done quick - you don't want holes in your tights toes.  Not the professional look.

• Wear tights with heels (wear heels even if you don't wear tights).  Heels add to your height - helpful with tall male colleagues.  They give you a feeling of confidence, and finally they add to that restrained sexiness.  You can always take them off and work in your stocking feet.  I think sandals and tights are hot, but not for work. Sandals suggest a party.  Boots are fine - a good power look.

Another rule broken

• Tights are wasted with trousers, and in any case trousers encourage that male outlook you should get away from.  Length of skirt will depend on the nature of your work.  The empirical approach is to keep wearing a shorter skirt each day until it looks as though there might be a problem, and then go to the next longer length.  Shorts are good in young retail environments, but too informal for most offices - although they could work well in a advertising, media or other image work company.

Finally.....

A good way to help the planet by getting guys out of their cars and onto the buses

The true power of the almighty high heel.

We all know the power of the sexy high heel over guys, but here is another sort of heel power.

Say you are a 130 pound woman (I wish - but I was once - many years ago).  Let's say you are wearing very sharp stiletto heels - say 1/4 inch square.  Let's say you lean back on your heels.  That is most of your weight is on the heels - about 65 pounds per heel.  But each heel is 1/4 x 1/4 = 1/16 square inch in area.  So the pressure under your heel is 2000 pounds per square inch.  For all you geeks out there, men only exert 20 pounds per square inch and elephant's 75 pounds per square inch.  Or the pressure exerted by the heel is 40 atmospheric pressures.  All these interesting facts at "Pressure under high heels"

Just don't think about the pressure on your carpet

So get your guests to take their heels off and walk about in their stocking feet - otherwise think of the damage to the carpet.

Good girl - her shoes are off

 Now here is another little scenario.   You are on the dance floor in your tights feet.  You see this guy - obviously a pantyhose fetish pervert - eying up your stocking feet.  He won't stop perving your feet.  The guy is just staring.  Discrete admiration yes, but not this.  You click on your heels - very high very stappy open sandals.  You walk over to the guy.  He is still look at your feet.  You can see the bulge in his trousers indicating a rock solid hard on - and its growing.  You say:

Trying not to look at her foot

"Can we dance, but you gotta take your shoes off, 'case you step on my little toes..."  (Wiggle toes at him)

He slips off his trainers revealing white socks (look they will be white), and works awkwardly to the dance floor with you - must be that erect cock making it hard to walk.  But before you get there, your heel accidentally stands on his foot.  Well not so much on as through.  2000 pounds per square inch, 40 atmospheres going through the sock, skin, tendons, crushing the bone, out through the sole of the foot.  Blood white socks, screams, rapidly deflating stiffy.

"Oh I am sorry - I stepped on your foot"

Extract heel.  Off to ladies to wide heel.  Don't want to damage these shoes.

Vote, vote, vote .... for pantyhose with open shoes

Are tights with open shoes the coolest thing since ice-cream?  Or the hottest thing since multiple orgasms?  Or are they the ultimate fashion mistake? Vote in my new poll - look its just over there on the right - and let the world know what you think.  Comments - for or against - very welcome below

And the winner is.......

What colour tights did readers of this blog vote as best.....

Black (60%) - a clear majority over tan (20%) and barely black (20%).  Looks like traditional sexy association of anything black won out.

OK its less impressive since only 5 people - voted but you have got to start somewhere

Some nice sheer black tights of all of you (that's all 3 you) that love them

Stocking cumback

OMG another sleepless nights - I least you get the benefits of my wisdom in this blog!

Apparently stockings are making a come back.  The current craze for burlesque dancing and burlesque movies is driving up stocking and suspender sales.  In the 2010, underwear maker Gossard reported a 65% rise in suspender sales.  A web search reveals that as early as June 2010 big UK stores like Debenhams were reporting an increase in stocking sales.  Celebrities like Lady Gaga, Lily Allen, Katy Perry and Kylie Minogue have encouraged the trend.

Stockings and stocking feet

Of course tights are easier to put on and easier to wash than stockings.  And tights are warmer - going all the way up.  The supporters of stockings will say they are cooler in over heated offices, but so many offices have air conditioning now.  They also claim that stockings give protection against that unexpected chill on a summer's day - but they don't give protection where you need it most.

Tights can be just as fashionable as stockings.  If its fishnet you want, look at these lovely patterned fishnets.

And there is a range of fishnet styles:

These tights even have seams like stockings:

And if you really want suspenders - there are tights with a suspender look:

or how about these:

Celebs wear tights, not just stockings, look at Alexandra Burke in her fishnet tights.  Great family entertainment, I bet the young males in your home enjoyed it, and it probably helped them on the way to a tights fetish:

But none of this is the point.  Aren't stockings so much more sexy?

Shouldn't this blog that views hosiery as an essential item of sexual exploitation - of men by women that is - applaud the resurrection of stockings?  When a guy is wanking off, doesn't he see a girl in black stockings as he rubs his dick?  At that moment he blows his load onto the Kleenex isn't he thinking of cumming with her stockinged legs around him?  Stockings give a guy much easier access to a girl's clit - just pull her knickers off a slide your cock in.

Nevertheless tights (pantyhose) are more sexy.  Girls can have a skirt that goes much higher than with stockings.  They can wear short shorts with that teasing strip of thicker nylon from the boxer brief just showing under the bottom of the leg.  And tights go all the way up - giving that smooth nylon look and feel up your thighs and all over your arse.

A subtle flash of the boxer briefs on her tights

A not so subtle flash

All those pantyhose porn sites should tell us that when many guys jack off, its the thought of tights - probably with the their cock between the nyloned soles - that makes them spurt their sperm.  They think of their semen shooting over a pair of tights covered feet and then soaking into the nylon at the moment of cumming.  Tights may make a guy's access to your clit more difficult but that will excite him more - always tease.  And an extra turn on, wear tights with no knickers.  Your womanhood out of reach but protected by nothing more that a thin layer of nylon will drive him mad.  Tease him until he rips his way in.  You'll loose a pair of tights but what's it matter for a great shag?

Better to cover up